Deaf leading the Dumb

I was swindled by a deaf man today. It was a relatively ordinary day at work, ordinary meaning regrettable, when I felt a familiar rumble in my tummy. As I was waiting for my lunch, a man came and stood beside me, uncomfortably waiting for me to acknowledge him. I nodded. He handed me the card you see here. Notice that the word "deaf" is in all caps. Also notice that, while the sentence "Would you help me by buying one of these cards" is certainly a question, it doesn't appear as such and that's for a good reason. It didn't feel like a question.

The man stood patiently smiling, just like that damn yellow spot at the top of the card while I read. What was I to do? I already had the card, I was too ashamed to ask about his return policy, so I fished in my pocket while telling the man I only had change. He nodded and showed me some quarters as if to prove that was the going rate. I bought it for 70 cents.

After pocketing my money the man made a gesture moving his two fingers away from his mouth, sort of like Sammy Sosa used to do. I assume it was thank you, but it could've been "you're a jackass," I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know because I didn't read all the way to the bottom of the card. I didn't really get past the part that said "would you like to BUY?" But as you can see, there's more. After the second thank you, the card says "Over." On the back is the American Manual Alphabet for the Deaf.

I didn't realize this until after our transaction was over and I sat down and read the card again. Up to that point, I was trying to come to terms with why this felt so dirty. Normally when I throw a grifter some change, I get a momentary charitable high. I think I'm a nice person and it doesn't hurt me to share with someone less fortunate, even if I'm not raking it in myself and although I rarely enjoy it, I have been able to find break-even employment. (Much different than "gainful.") I'm trying to earn a decent living.

But this was such a sneaky way to get in my pocket all I felt was used. I'm not happy about the fact that I bought a slip of paper with a smily face on it. I felt like screaming, but in this instance, it was like a tree falling in a forest. The good news is I can now spell sucker in sign language.