Rome ISN'T Burning...That's a Problem.

Today at 4 pm I found myself on the couch, out of reach of the remote with “Rome is Burning” coming on. Horrible, I know, but the remote was far enough away, that I decided to chance it.

Big mistake.

Jim Rome is Nos. 1-216 on my Fight Club list. Remember, the reason this guy has a career is because he thought calling Jim Everett, Chris, was insanely funny. I admit, it was shocking, even if it occurred on ESPN2 in its infancy. (You know, back when the network was trying to be the hip, edgy home to X-Games sports and Keith Olbermann wore a leather jacket on “SportsNight” as proof.) But it wasn’t funny. This may be because I was no longer a second grader when I saw it.

That one incident launched Jim Rome into the sports talk stratosphere, but if you watched him conduct an interview with Chad Johnson today, an increasingly difficult proposition as Rome’s nose sunk ever deeper up Chad’s hindquarters, you can see how far removed we are from such shenanigans. This guy coddles any athlete whose star is currently burning bright, and latches on any pathetic statement he can find to make an even more pathetic point.

For instance, Phil Jackson’s comparison of his current Lakers’ squad to baking a cake. Rome jumped all over that one, calling him Betty Crocker, lining him up for a job at Hostess, etc. Is that funny to anyone? Apparently so, because Rome has legions of fans who call in to his radio show every day to deliver WWF-style rants that say even less than the host.

I’d rather be forced to room with Rob Schneider for the rest of my life than listen to Jim Rome speak ever again.