This time, Hagwilt thought it was worth noting that he could've gone nine in his first start of the season instead of two, but what followed was even better:
"I belive this year, I can win the Cy Young, and besdies that we will win the World Series. I guarantee that. I have faith in that."
As sports fans, I think we're immune to guarantees at this point. You'll get at least five of them in the upcoming NBA Playoffs, but it's not that Hagwilt guaranteed a championship that's interesting. It's how he did it. Real non-chalant.
Let me translate. What Carlos was really saying was:
I'll probably win the Cy Young this year after getting shafted last year where I won a quarter of my team's games by myself, but I doubt anyone will really notice, what with us ending the most infamous streak in sport and all. I believe this, thus it will be so. I too have been reading The Secret.
Sweet Lou's response to his fiery fireballer's comments?
"You've got an emotional manager, for God's sake. Sure, I like an emotional pitcher...You can't have 25 Stepford Wives."
Damn right, Lou. That movie sucked.
Let us rejoice and be glad in it...In other Cubs related news, both Prior and Wood pitched yesterday in the same game and the world did not immediately fall victim to the plague.
Wood was pretty sharp, getting three outs on 12 pitches, but Prior struggled, giving up three runs on four hits and two walks in less than two innings.
What does this mean? The usual. They'll both be on the DL by Memorial Day.
It's so much worse than I thought...Last week I postulated that Florida's new gator-skin jerseys would be their tournament specials from Nike that I'd been hearing so much about. If only it were that simple.
Turns out that themed-prints simply aren't enough for the sportswear giant. Instead, the've decided to make the cagers at Ohio State, Syracuse, Florida, and Arizona look like they're participating in the NFL combine with shirts that are 10 inches smaller through the torso, shorts that appear to be 10 inches longer (who would've thought that even possible?), and, most notably, sleeves. Take that Evansville!
Check out the garb below...
The new look will debut tonight, so all that remains to be seen is who will look the most ridiculous: Matt Gorman, Matt Terwilliger, or Bret Brielmaier.
I'm not sure which is more alarming. The fact that all the options listed just happen to be big dorky white guys, or how easy it was to pick out the big dorky white guys on the rosters based on name alone.
Either way, Nike has officially become your mom when it comes to dressing kids for school.
No comments:
Post a Comment