A Creative Solution to the Plight of Purify

Dammit, Maurice.

As you know, the stand out Nebraska receiver was arrested on suspicion of DWI on Friday and suspended from the team indefinitely which is an official sort of coach-speak that means, "We have to do something, we're just not sure what yet."

Every Nebraska Internet forum in existence has been alive with moralizing and proselytizing over the weekend, engaging in college football's second most controversial debate: the question of talent versus, what I believe the NCAA calls, institutional control.

Or maybe that's not the term. I don't see how it's Bill's fault Maurice can't call a cab. Institutional control is most often lost by the calls the coach is making himself, so let's just say that it's a question of what's worse: losing games or losing respect which, frustratingly for said debaters, can also be brought about by losing games. A Catch-16.

What's Nebraska to do? Some say he should be gone for the season. Others, perhaps still watching tape from last year's Texas A&M game, feel it would be a grave disservice to the kid to remove him entirely. (For the purpose of this piece we will call them the "Rehabilitators," or D.O.G. for short.) After thinking about this at length for three days, I think I've arrived at a startlingly simple resolution: one non-consecutive third of the season.

Purify's problems seem to be an issue of idle hands. During the season, minus the occasional ill-timed personal foul, Maurice was a model 2nd team All-Big 12 receiver. But the off-season is a much more difficult time. With no passes to catch since the Spring Game, Purify's gifted hands have a lot of down time; time to throw punches and hold cocktails (legal, mind you) and subsequently grab steering wheels (decidedly illegal).

If Maurice is kicked-off the team, fine. Not our problem anymore, let the Niles Paul era begin. But if Maurice does receive a partial suspension--four games seems likely and/or reasonable--the execution of that disciplinary action will require some finessing.

Sitting Purify for the entire non-conference schedule would certainly appeal to the Rehabilitators as Maurice would benefit from the routine and camaraderie of his football family and he'd still be back for the entire Big 12 schedule. Purify could spend his time in the brig but still have his hands on deck for Callahan's quest for the white whale. But we can do better than that.

Giving the troubled receiver four weeks where he knows he won't play a game is essentially throwing him to the hobgoblins. Why not keep Purify ever mindful of his past transgressions and make him serve his suspension throughout the season? With a one game suspension looming every three weeks, Purify, and the rest of the program and its fans, would have a constant reminder of just how harmful a foolish consistency can be.

Is this a more severe punishment than your traditional suspension? Perhaps. Purify would not have the pleasure of playing the home opener against Nevada and the Pistol offense. He would be reflecting during Nebraska's much ballyhooed first ever meeting with Ball State. He'd be at home eating a frozen pizza as the Huskers served up revenge, appropriately chilled, to Oklahoma State. Maurice would not be a part of the longest continuous D1A football series against Kansas and, perhaps the cruelest blow of all, he would HAVE to play in front of the denizens of Folsom Field. Sorry, if you want sympathy start walking the line.

Is this a more unusual punishment than your traditional suspension? Certainly, but the guy already wears a scarlet letter. No need to overdo it.