I’m going to beat the hell out of Trace Adkins this fall. Thanks to Athlon Sports, I may finally get retribution for “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” and I’d be lying if I were to say it hasn’t totally brightened my outlook for the fall.
I picked up a copy of Athlon’s 2008 preview the other day--not because it’s any good but because it was there and Phil Steele’s wasn’t—and there was Trace Adkins pointing at me with a football in his hand. He seemed to be saying: “Hey, you, I played football at Louisiana Tech and am responsible for some of the worst music videos ever released. Despite all that, I bet I can pick college football games better than ya’ll.”
I refuse to believe this. Now, I had my ups and downs in terms of overall record last year in my various pick’em leagues but if I can’t beat a man who is responsible for this then, to borrow the title from the best Waylon Jennings song nobody likes, I think I’m gonna kill myself.
I’m passionate about a number of things but my two areas of particular fervor are college football and real country music. When Big & Rich open College Gameday each Saturday I take it as a personal offense, my brain says rage. In less than two minutes, week in and week out, they’re able to desecrate not one but two of my sacred cows and I’m powerless to stop it.
Previously, Trace Adkins had just offended my country sensibilities but now he’s walking on the fightin’ side of me. As we learned in Hoosiers, there's two kinds of dumb: a guy who gets naked and runs around in the snow and barks at the moon, and the guy who does the same thing in your living room. First one don't matter. The second one you're kinda forced to deal with.
I picked up a copy of Athlon’s 2008 preview the other day--not because it’s any good but because it was there and Phil Steele’s wasn’t—and there was Trace Adkins pointing at me with a football in his hand. He seemed to be saying: “Hey, you, I played football at Louisiana Tech and am responsible for some of the worst music videos ever released. Despite all that, I bet I can pick college football games better than ya’ll.”
I refuse to believe this. Now, I had my ups and downs in terms of overall record last year in my various pick’em leagues but if I can’t beat a man who is responsible for this then, to borrow the title from the best Waylon Jennings song nobody likes, I think I’m gonna kill myself.
I’m passionate about a number of things but my two areas of particular fervor are college football and real country music. When Big & Rich open College Gameday each Saturday I take it as a personal offense, my brain says rage. In less than two minutes, week in and week out, they’re able to desecrate not one but two of my sacred cows and I’m powerless to stop it.
Previously, Trace Adkins had just offended my country sensibilities but now he’s walking on the fightin’ side of me. As we learned in Hoosiers, there's two kinds of dumb: a guy who gets naked and runs around in the snow and barks at the moon, and the guy who does the same thing in your living room. First one don't matter. The second one you're kinda forced to deal with.
I now have to deal with Trace Adkins. The good news is that we all have a chance to knock him off. We can humiliate him they way Kansas will his alma mater in week two.
I don’t know yet if we’re picking against the spread (hopefully) or straight-up (lame), but I do know that I will beat Trace Adkins this season. I have to beat Trace Adkins. Everything I believe on depends on it.
For those of you actually interested in the Nebraska content of the Athlon preview I picked up, they have the Cornhuskers ranked as the 41st best team in the country, picked to finish 4th in the Big 12 North behind Mizzou, KU and CU. In terms of schedule, they predict wins against WMU, SJU, New Mexico St., ISU and Baylor; losses against Va. Tech, Mizzou, Tech, OU and KU. That puts Nebraska at 5-5 heading into the final two games of the season which are “swing games” against KSU and CU.
Here’s what they had to say about the hiring of Bo Pelini:
I don’t know yet if we’re picking against the spread (hopefully) or straight-up (lame), but I do know that I will beat Trace Adkins this season. I have to beat Trace Adkins. Everything I believe on depends on it.
For those of you actually interested in the Nebraska content of the Athlon preview I picked up, they have the Cornhuskers ranked as the 41st best team in the country, picked to finish 4th in the Big 12 North behind Mizzou, KU and CU. In terms of schedule, they predict wins against WMU, SJU, New Mexico St., ISU and Baylor; losses against Va. Tech, Mizzou, Tech, OU and KU. That puts Nebraska at 5-5 heading into the final two games of the season which are “swing games” against KSU and CU.
Here’s what they had to say about the hiring of Bo Pelini:
“While there are plenty of examples of big-name schools hiring coaches without
experience (Mark Richt at Georgia, Bob Stoops at Oklahoma), it’s a bit of a
gamble for a school like Nebraska to hire someone who has never run his own
program. Pelini might end up being a great hire, but Jim Grobe, who has enjoyed
tremendous success at Wake Forest, or former Husker star Turner Gill, who is
doing a fine job at Buffalo, seemed to make a bit more sense.”
Huh? Everything else pertaining to Nebraska you've already read a thousand times over.
2 comments:
Aww, come on, Trace ain't bad. It's Kenny Chesney you should be concerned with. What a douche.
No, Trace is still pretty awful but he's not the Buffet of country so he does nose out Chesney in terms of ultimate suckage.
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