Two weeks ago, I started combing the newly opened SI Vault for all the Nebraska covers in the magazine's history. With no practice Thursday and therefore no Cody Glenn updates or former rival coach sightings to report, I figured now was as good a time as any to dive back in but this time we're going to take a look at the memorable losses from Huskers' history (1980-2007), the times where Nebraska probably just missed the cover or got there in dubious fashion.The Article: Ground Rule by Austin Murphy
The Gist: I'll let Murphy take this one himself: "Nebraska, which under fourth-year coach Bill Callahan has taken baby steps in the direction of its former glory, still has a long way to go." Oh, there's some stuff about the Pac-10 being good in there as well but who cares about that?
Saddening Quote: Pete Carroll, "Let's knock'em off the football and go have some fun." It really was that easy.
The Article: Run to GLORY by Austin Murphy
The Gist: By rushing for nearly 200 yards on the 6th ranked defense in the country, Chris Brown made Northwestern look stupid for trying to convert him into a receiver.
Annoying Quote: "My God! Wow!" Shawn Watson's response to watching film of his offensive line. Yes, that game film was like torture porn for our current OC.
The Article: Devil of an Upset by Tim Layden
The Gist: See ya unprecedented third consecutive national title. Later that year, in an article entitled "Three-Peat Threat", SI would talk about how Nebraska was now back in the hunt.
Pop Culture Quote: "Like Mike Tyson in the ring, Michael Johnson in the 400 meters and NBC on Thursday night, Nebraska football was an unbeatable constant."
Good ol' days Quote: "I've never played in a loss," Wistrom said. "I've never been on the field when we lost a game." That was obviously before this game.
The Article: Wide Left by Rick Reilly (yup, before the cheesy column days.)
The Gist: Wasn't Notre Dame the best team in the country that year?
Dated Quote: "Forcing the football world to pick a national champion this year is like asking a woman to pick her favorite Baldwin brother."
Good ol' days Quote: "It sailed too far left. Now it really was over, and in the tumult only one thing in the whole spectrum of college football was clear: Nobody in the free world is 17½ points better than Nebraska." (Ed: Sigh)
The Article: Boom and Doom by Rick Telander
The Gist: You probably shouldn't talk trash to the 1987 Oklahoma Sooners.
Stupid Quote: "I hate Oklahoma, I really do," said Taylor..."THE FLATOUT TRUTH IS OKLAHOMA CAN'T PLAY WITH US. THE SOONERS AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH. LET ME TELL YOU, IT MIGHT NOT EVEN BE CLOSE, AND I MEAN THAT." (Their caps, not mine.)
Smart Response to Stupid Quote: "Why they think they're going to beat the snot out of us, I don't know," Switzer said. "They ain't scored but three touchdowns in three years on our defense." After this game, it would be four in four. That's consistency.
Cover boy: Canes HB Keith Griffin eluding a tackle.
The Article: No Team was Ever Higher by John Underwood (Sadly, this title never went on to become the official title of Miami's glory days as a program, fitting as it would've been.)
The Gist: Miami was high.
Fun Out of Context Quote 1: "The only thing that worries me," Schnellenberger said, "is that they're so high. I have to walk among them like a zombie so they won't get any higher. I mean they are high." Zombies. Always harshing.
Fun Out of Context Quote 2: "It's unlikely that any team in the history of college football ever got higher for a game than Miami did for Nebraska..."
Cover Boy: Todd Blackledge, presumably throwing a pass out of bounds.
The Article: O.K., Time to Fasten Those Seat Belts by Jack McCallum
The Gist: He was out of bounds! The refs blew it! This actually isn't the gist of this article at all but, as we all know, it should be. Here's video evidence.
Damning Quote: "I skidded my feet a little, trying to get them down," said McCloskey. "For a second I thought I was out, but it's in the record books now, right?" (Ed: McCloskey then went on to say, off the record, "I was definitely out and I'm sorry for defrauding thousands of college football fans across the country."At least that's how my copy of this issue reads.)
Cover Boy: Clemson's Perry Tuttle and his 3/4 length jersey.
The Article: Year of the Tigers by John Papenek
The Gist: Clemson? Really!?
Thanks Coach Quote: From Clemson coach Danny Ford: "...before the game I saw us getting behind by a lot of points early. When it started I saw us staying close all the way and them blowing us out in the fourth quarter. Then when the fourth quarter came I saw them winning by one point with a two-point conversion in the last minute. I saw everything. From what I had been hearing and reading I figured there were more ways for us to prove we didn't belong on the field with Nebraska than to prove that they didn't belong on the field with us."
Dancing Quote: "I could tell they were taking us lightly," said Jeff Davis, "just being around them during the week, around town, at discos, the hotels, the stadium. You could feel it, as if they were saying, 'We're from the Big Eight and you boys aren't of the same caliber.' There's the problem. Who let Dave Rimington lose in a disco the week before a game?
There you have it. The best of the worst. Honestly, given the regularity and brutality of the losing in recent years, I found the process to be uplifting, almost life-affirming.
