Also known as: "The Last Tournament Breakdown you Need."
Check back daily as I'll be revelaing a new quarter of the bracket in the days leading up to Thursday's tip-off.
1. Ohio State – Loathe - If I was more of a man I wouldn’t let my football biases get in the way, but the most ridiculous definite article in sport clouds everything. Battle lines are clearly drawn with the inclusion of the word “THE”. If you are/were a Buckeye, I understand your insistence upon using it. I’d do the same thing. But I’m not a Buckeye and it just sounds pompous to everyone else.
16. Central Connecticut State – Loathe – I know one thing about the other Blue Devils: I once saw a male cheerleader of theirs, who was shaped like a D2 tackle, pick up two cheerleaders, extend both arms and spin in a circle while holding them both in the air. Despite that, I find nothing more to recommend CCSU.
8. BYU - Loathe - Back in the 90s I found myself in Fort Collins during the WAC tournament and we ended up at a BYU-CSU game. Now the only compelling reason to watch BYU back then was Shawn Bradley. Not having followed the squad, I thought I was going to see the tallest man I could imagine live and in person. He was on his mission. I've never forgotten.
9. Xavier - Love - Besides Quinnipiac, no school dominates the alphabet like XU. Just look at that, XU, it's perfect. They have a giant X on their court and somehow this makes them entirely badass.
5. Tennessee – Love – More schools should reference moonshine in their fight songs. As long as Bruce Pearl and Pat Summitt stay on their respective sidelines, there’s nothing stopping me from enjoying the Vols in March.
12. Long Beach State – Love – Along with sleazeball, dirtbag is a relatively mild slur that I don’t utter often enough and it is the unofficial nickname of the school’s baseball team. While the basketball team is known simply as the 49ers, I think there’s enough residual good will from the local nine’s name to enable me to support The Beach.
4. Virginia – Love – Just a totally intriguing school, from Thomas Jefferson’s influence to “taking” degrees to secret societies. If I had former or future lives I’d definitely matriculate at Charlottesville in one of them.
13. UAlbany – Love – This one is easy. I love Post-it notes and we have an Albany alum to thank for their existence. Additionally, Great Danes, and its Scrappy-Doo rendering, is hands down the best mascot in the tournament.
6. Louisville – Love – I should probably hate this team for making me think I had a shot back in 2005, but there’s just something about the Old English ‘L’ that has me mesmerized. That and watching Pitino age.
11. Stanford - Loathe - I'm tired of that tree and that's all there is to it. With all honesty, I can't say I've considred Stanford once this college basketball season. They could've canceled the season and I wouldn't have known.
3. Texas Ag. & Mech. – Love - I’m genetically predisposed to love any team called the “Aggies.” Add that to the fact that A&M provides a nice counterpoint to the Longhorns and they’ve never really been here before and you have a pretty simple Cinderella story as a three-seed.
14. Penn – Love – It’s pretty tough to hate whatever team comes out of the Ivy League. They just quietly do their own thing, don’t get a Championship Week spotlight because they don’t have a tournament, show up for a round and go back to preparing to run the rest of the world. Maybe it’s not “tough” to hate these guys, rather, it’s not advisable.
7. Nevada – Loathe – What give you the right to insist upon being called “Nevada”? You’re the University of Nevada-Reno. I know it and you know it.
10. Creighton – Love – The only school in the tournament that I actually attended, albeit for only a year, but what a year it was. I threw an alley-oop to future Heat/Sixer/Grizzlie/King/Net Rodney Buford and was personally told by Dana Altman that I’d never make it as a walk-on. Fair enough. My true rooting interest in the tournament.
2. Memphis – Love – There’s just something slimy about a team helmed by John Calipari, but I’m foregoing any ill will on behalf of Wink Martindale. In addition to hosting High Rollers and Tic Tac Dough, Martindale recorded a version of Frankie Miller’s immortal “Black Land Farmer” which is enough for me to hope the Tigers make the Final Four.
15. North Texas – Love – Definitely the only school to name their football team after a famous former player’s nickname. But if it’s good enough for “Mean” Joe Greene, why don’t more schools do the same? I think the Jackson State Sweetness might be the best nickname nobody’s thought of yet.
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