Happy Lost Productivity Day!

Considering that all of Nebraska now lives in either Lincoln or Omaha--seriously, rural to urban migration always makes me sad hypocrite that I am--I'm guessing that tickets to today's games at the Qwest Center are pretty difficult to come by and that's not even including the scores of Jayhawks likely flocking to the city.

In case you were on the fence regarding that Portland State-Kansas match-up, just look at the photo presented here. That's a PSU Viking missing a dunk. During practice.

Kansas, I believe, is safe.

As for the rest of the tournament, I like Xavier. Why? Because they're deep and if I'm to have any shot at winning my various pools, I best pick a sleeper.

Is there a worse judge of basketball acumen than filling out a bracket. I don't care how many games you watch, theoretical match-ups are impossible to handicap and, after the first round, every game is a theoretical match-up.

I'm still waiting for one of the big sports sites out there to change their system so you only pick one round at a time with the winner being the person who picks the most games correctly. It would be like 63 individual horse races, something you could honestly analyze and sink your teeth into.

Until then, I guess, we'll just keep winging it. Go XU!

Morning Walk-thru - Who Sewed the Sole?

Shoe Feud!...LeBron James doesn't like Stephon Marbury's cheap kicks. Before Tuesday night's game against the Knicks, which Marbury won with a three-pointer with 8 seconds left, King James said he couldn't imagine endorsing a sneaker that retails for $15--like Marbury does--because Nike "hold(s) their standard high."

For a guy who wants to become the first billionaire baller, I'd expect a slightly sharper business acumen out of LeBron. How much do you think your shoes cost to manufacture? I'm positive that there isn't a difference of more than two dollars between the Starbury's and LeBron's shoe. Retail, however, James' shoes cost 10-times as much.

How can you dog a guy for trying to do something good and offering a shoe that anyone can afford? (Especially when you consider it's Marbury who's not normally known for his magnanimosity.) Hakeem Olajuwon did this with the preeminent K-Mart brand, Spalding, back during the dream shake days, but Marbury went out and actively tried to promote it, so give the guy credit.

Sorry, LeBron, you're wrong here. Regardless, Ralph Nader doesn't like either option.

The Good Ole Running Back Committee...Last year Nebraska used a four-person running back by committee to surprising success and nobody thought they'd be able to keep all four happy again in 2007. Now, I'm just hoping the Cornhuskers have somebody who can line up behind the quarterback.

First, Brandon Jackson left for the NFL. Then Marlon Lucky overdosed on something. Physically, he's fine now but mentally I'm concerned. Cody Glenn is still recovering from a foot injury and out for spring practice, and Kenny Wilson was also missing practice due to a staph infection in his knee.

But now he's out for THE YEAR, after snapping his femur moving a television. Two questions: 1) What kind of TV was that?! Had to be a 6-year-old Sony Wega bigger than 50-inches. I moved one once and it was a bitch. 2) Don't we pay our players enough that they can afford slimmer, better picture, less femur-snapping flat screens? Can we start?

Nebraska has pie in the sky BCS hopes coming in to 07, but the off season has been pretty awful. This is not setting up well for Mr. Keller.

Thank you, ESPN...Let's be honest, unless your team is playing, the Final Four isn't that interesting. If you had a choice between watching the first two rounds of the Tournament or the last two, which would you choose? Anyone who tells you the latter is lying.

The N.C.A.A Tournament has become all about the first four days. Upsets and live look-ins, that's what we want! Days full of basketball not three paltry games.

But just when I had consigned myself to watching the Final Four passively, ESPN went and did something great: they sent Chuck Klosterman to Atlanta.

Due to his increasing popularity and the inherent vanity of his writing, it's probably not cool to like Chuck but I do. I've read everything he's ever written and even attended a reading of his. He's doing a blog for Page 2 which is interesting because, based on everything I'd ever read or heard from Klosterman, I always assumed he hated blogs. Not like Dan Shaughnessy hates blogs, but Chuck sort of represented the generation break in terms of blogging: a guy who'd cut his teeth doing "real" journalism who might have a reason to despise instant journalism. And, in his first entryy, he took a backhanded swipe at the format, writing:

I will reciprocate by writing sporadic e-mail posts throughout the entire weekend. This is a very popular art form among affluent American young people, especially those who are fans of James Walcott and/or profoundly interested in unauthorized photographs of Nicole Richie's rib cage. I believe there is even a name for this journalistic practice, but I can't remember what it is; normally, I use the Internet only to discuss math principles via CompuServe.

Nevertheless, blogging he is and I urge you to check it out. It will be as randomly referenced and philosophically sound as anything you'll read this weekend.

The Morning Walk-thru - Hoya Saxa!

Ladies and Gentlemen, your Final Four...You can be forgiven if you're excitement isn't quite what it should be. With two 2-seeds and two 1-seeds surviving, it looks like the quiet dude who doesn't like sports and took the chalk out of ignorance is getting the last laugh.

I'm glad Georgetown won as they're the only rooting interest I have left. Don't like Florida, loathe Ohio State and UCLA...well...if Bill Walton wasn't like some crazed skeletal cheerleader I could probably stomach the Bruins. Alas, Bill is a crazed skeletal cheerleader so Go Hoyas!

Put the whistles away?...Speaking of the Hoyas, Tyler Hansbrough got absolutely mugged in overtime going up for a shot that was partially blocked while Tyler's arm was partially severed and, in an alarming trend, the refs did nothing. But that's just the latest example.

Georgetown was still playing and able to dismember Hansbrough because, apparently, traveling is not a rules violation in the last minute of close N.C.A.A. Tournament games. I believe both of the above examples fall under an old, little-known referee's code known as the "I Have no Balls Exception."

I understand the value of letting the boys play a bit, hell, we've come to expect it. It's masculine. It's American. It allows us to say "survive and advance" and mean it literally. But it seems to have gotten out of hand in this year's tournament.

The old adage is, if you don't notice the officials then they've done their job, but at this point they've become conspicuous in their absence. Somebody needs to step up and just make the call that they would've made in the first two minutes of the game, otherwise we might as well play basketball for 32 minutes and, say, jai alai for the last eight because that's almost what we're getting now.

I imagine Chris Webber must be torn up watching these games because, if it had been this way in 1993, his plea for a timeout wouldn't be a technical. The refs would all just look at each other, then at him, and let them play on.

See, a technical would influence the outcome of the game and that's not for them to decide, it's for the players.

Don't Tread on US...Landon Donovan scored a hat trick and the US MNT is 3-0 in international play. It's probably too early to get too excited but we do have snazzy new blue pinstriped jerseys that remind me of Ron Santo's Cubs.

Check out the goals below. Landon absolutely laces that last one...




Peyton exposes SNL...After two and a half seasons full of Manning commercials, we know that Peyton is a droll, if not convincing, actor. So seeing him on SNL this weekend was kind of like watching him play quarterback: not very flashy but deadly efficient.

What was surprising, however, is how Peyton's lack of range was totally overshadowed by the utter awfulness of the writing on the show. For some reason, I still watch SNL pretty regularly and I would say the vast majority of the skits fall totally flat. They're seven minute torture sessions that hammer one joke into oblivion. Peyton's chops looked pretty good by comparison. How did that happen?

Imagine if Tina Fey went on Pros vs. Joes and totally dominated Peyton Manning in a football challenge, reading his eyes, baiting him into poor throws and picking him off four times. That's what Saturday night was like. Peyton was funnier than 10 or 15 people who are paid to be funny.

This was good, though...

The Morning Walk-thru - Not So Fast, Pap

What's worse than Memphis' crooked-stripe jerseys?...Seeing Joey Dorsey, after fouling out, spend the last six or so minutes of the game wearing only an adidas wife-beater. Figures that it was a Calipari coached team where this would happen.

I'm not some hard-ass traditionalist when it comes to basketball, but have some respect. I know that Hustle & Flow was set in Memphis, but adopting the Terence Howard look on the sidelines is a pretty desperate attempt for attitude and attention.

Get back in your pen...So Johnathan Papelbon is headed back out to the cage in right field for the Red Sox. I have to agree with the blogger Morisato, who I linked above because there's no real value in a random AP report, and say that while Boston presumably solved their closer conundrum they may have seriously weakened their starting rotation.

Who's taking Papelbon's place, Julian Tavarez?! Despite the fact that Julian likes fighting, foreign substances, had one of his best seasons as a Cub and once kicked a ball over to first to record an out, I've never really liked the guy. I'm all for "mercurial" but for some reason Tavarez takes it too far and now he could be the fifth starter in the Fens.

The good news is, Papelbon just became a proven commodity on my fantasy team rather than a slight gamble.

Footbaw!...It's easy to overlook the fact that college football is up and running again with the Tournament madness and the promise of baseball and the Masters to distract us, but it is officially on and so begins the Sam Keller era at Nebraska.

Sure, Coach Callahan is saying that it's a wide open race for the starting quarterback spot, but we all know it's Keller's to lose. You don't move to Lincoln, Nebraska with an NFL career in the balance to sit behind Joe Ganz, I don't care how complicated the offense.

Now all Keller has to do is learn the offense, play like a legitimate Heisman candidate and be good enough to back up the brash attitude that should go over about as well as hailstones in the Cornhusker State.

Personally, I like the cockiness. After his first practice Keller was quoted in the Omaha World-Herald as saying, "(The offense) isn't too fast. I've been around football too long for it to be too fast."

Good. We need a little Tim Riggins on this team, but Keller better come out firing like the gunslinger he's making himself out to be because the tide will turn quick. In a season without the traditional cupcakes early on (Nevada, @Wake Forest, USC) it could be a disaster if The Keller underwhelms.

But that's a few months off. For now, Sam, keep the quotes coming.

You Fought All the Way, Hey Reb, Hey Reb

And the best dressed team in the tournament is moving on!

As my de facto team for the rest of the tournament, I couldn't be happier. I'll never get tired of those red uniforms the Rebels are sporting this year. In fact, everything about the school just might be perfect. Some of the many reasons to love the Rebels:

--Their simple black letters flush against the red, no outline. It smacks you in the teeth and says, "this is who we are and we're serious."

--UNLV's mascot has the greatest mustache alive.

--Silver numbers. Really nice touch.

--They're from Vegas? When else would you enjoy rooting for the house?

They were right...it is about fundamentals

Gotta make your free throws fellas!

After two days of an N.C.A.A. Tournament by the books, today has finally delivered drama with close games across the board.

But one thing has been conspicuous this Saturday: free throws, and I don't mean makes.

Xavier had the worst miss from the charity stripe of the tournament thus far, but the final minute of the A&M-L'vuhl game was enough to drive junior high coaches across the country crazy.

Trailing by one, the Cardinals' Edgar Sosa missed two free throws after after shooting 15-15 on freebies up to that point. Perhaps even more shocking in terms of hoops karma, it didn't hurt because the Aggies missed two of their own on the other end but survived in the end by forcing Sosa into taking a 24-footer with five seconds left...after Louisville had just called a timeout!

Somewhere Rick Barry weeps...

UPDATE: Add to the list of ignominy Levance Fields of Pitt. He just missed two throws with 2 seconds left in a tie game. Pitt lead VCU by 2o at one point.

Musketeers Misfire

They had it.

XU was one free throw and three seconds away from beating Ohio State and making me feel a whole lot better about Creighton's loss yesterday.

But they misfired and Ron Lewis did not, hitting a 25-footer to tie it and that's it. The difference between success and failure in March is that small.

While it was definitely the best game of the tournament thus far, I still feel shorted. It was a classic near upset which is becoming the worst part of this annual Madness.

You start out wondering how Xavier, who was the source of much controversy for their inclusion, could stick with the "mighty" Ohio State. But after they survive a half and they're still in the game, you start to think this just might happen, and then in the final couple of minutes you start to believe it and then it doesn't.

Look at the bracket and it looks just like it should. Xavier left behind, THE OSU moving on. It doesn't show any of the past two hours' emotion or how XU had it or really anything except the truth: the Buckeyes are moving on.

The bracket is a cold, heartless bastard.

But the good news is, Thad Motta and Sean Miller are still the best of friends. At least if you ask Thad Motta.

Alas, there's barely any time for reflection. A&M and Luh-vuhl are set to tip off and I've got high hopes for this one.

The bracket is also briskly paced...

Alton Brown cures almost all Tournament hangovers

What do you do after your team has just lost (in overtime) in the N.C.A.A. Tournament and you're seriously considering not watching another game all night? (Also in play, the 90 minute break between afternoon and evening sessions.)

I recommend the Food Network. Seeing Alton Brown's passion for the pomegranate, almost makes me forget about the last 10 minutes of the Creighton game I saw after driving way too fast through a Nor'easter.

You see, Alton doesn't care that Creighton led for much of the second half or or that they got the key turnover with less than 30 seconds left after giving up three offensive rebounds and allowing the Wolfpack to hold the ball for 90 of the last 110 seconds in regulation or that the Bluejays didn't have to face Fazekas for 85% of the overtime period. He's too busy poking and prodding a giant foam pomegranate model and dropping knowledge. (A loose Latin translation reveals that pomegranate means "many-seeded apple", which, for me, is entirely relevant right now.)

Alton loves to eat pomegranate seeds with yogurt and his indifference towards the national maelstrom brewing on CBS right now makes me...well...still inconsolable.

Creighton has been to 7 of the last 9 N.C.A.A. tournaments, but they've only got two wins to show for it and none since their 2002 stunner against Florida. Dana Altman has had numerous opportunities to leave for "greener pastures," but he hasn't and it's increasingly frustrating that this hasn't translated into visible growth.

The Bluejays were receiving a ton of national respect again in the tournament build-up, but, again, they just came close and what does that mean?

Not much when you're on a perennial tourney run for the past decade and you keep losing. I'm tired of being dangerous. I want to be good.

Damn.

Anyway, on to other tournament thoughts...

Best Uniforms of the Tournament: UNLV. Now that the Jays are done they're officially my rooting interest. Love the way they don't have any piping around the letters on their jerseys and, hey, it's Vegas.

Worst Uniforms of the Tournament: Memphis. What's with the stripe running from shoulder to shin? They're like a 70s throwback except they're not even remotely cool. Watching North Texas play well for 15 minutes then simply get out-athleticismed was definitely the second most depressing moment of my tournament so far.

Down goes Duke: This made me happy yesterday but I have to admit that I was seriously expecting Duke to regroup and make a deep tourney run. I thought it was all set up for Coach K to overachieve, but VCU totally exposed Duke and that's always enjoyable.

Due to the 6-inches of snow we've already gotten in the Boston area and the promise of another 2-3 inches of freezing rain, I'll be holed up all weekend with nothing but basketball to do, so check back for weekend updates.

War Jay

No morning walk-thru today, no more love and loathing. Rather, just an inspirational video...

War Jay!

Love and Loathing in the Midwest Regional

Note: As a wholly obsessive supplement to my latest FOXSports.com column, welcome to Love and Loathing in the NCAA Tournament. The fourth in a four part series that will provide my totally biased and baseless evaluation of each team in the tournament.

Also known as: "The Last Tournament Breakdown you Need."

Check back daily as I'll be revelaing a new quarter of the bracket in the days leading up to Thursday's tip-off.

MIDWEST

1. Florida – Loathe - As defending champs and the closest thing we have to a favorite, it’s easy to loathe the Gators unless they’re your team. In fact, I don’t see how you could root for UF otherwise. They’ve got talent, painful balance (four players averaging between 12 and 13 points) and braggin’ rights (both football AND basketball). Who likes that?

16. Jackson State – Loathe – See my inverse reasoning for North Texas. I think it’s time we honor Walter.

8. Arizona – Love – Ever since learning that Lute Olson insists upon having a cactus at mid-court, my respect for the Wildcats has grown. It’s all in the details.

9. Purdue - Loathe - Even the memory of Gene Keady scares the hell out of me.

5. Butler – Love – As I noted in the column, Butler and Hoosiers are forever linked. Is it too much to ask for them to run the picket fence at some point during the tournament?

12. Old Dominion - Love - I'm not sure what it means, but this is the most romantic sounding name in the tournament. I shall never refer to my hometown again. Henceforth, it will be my old dominion.

4. Maryland – Love – I like turtles and I like yellow and black stripes. Maryland provides both.

13. Davidson – Loathe – Another school, another honor code. Does anyone remember laughter?

6. Notre Dame – Loathe – If I had gone to Notre Dame, I’d be the biggest, fightinest Irish fan you’d ever seen. I didn’t.

11. Winthrop – Loathe – If not for Winthrop, I never would’ve known that Rock Hill, SC is part of an area known as “Metrolina.” I’m not 100% sure what that means but it sounds a lot like urban sprawl and, as we all know, urban sprawl is responsible for everything evil today. I imagine the campus is located between an Applebees and a Wal-Mart.

3. Oregon – Love – This isn’t so much a school as a means for product roll-out for UO alum and Nike founder Phil Knight. From psychedelic football uniforms to official school colors that incorporate the words “Thunder” (Green) and “Lightning” (Yellow) into the mix, I’m somehow fine will all of this.

14. Miami (Not the one you think) – Loathe – This school has been making a mockery of ESPN’s Bottom Line since the feature debuted, necessitating differentiation between “The U” and, well, “Not The U.” In fact, why not let the Redhawks have “Miami” all to themselves and make the Hurricanes go by Miami (The one you care about) on all tickers?

7. UNLV – Love – Not realizing that I could’ve gone to college in Las Vegas is probably the worst oversight of my life. Thus, I’ve always lived vicariously through the Runnin’ Rebels (or Hustlin’ Rebels, as they’re known on the diamond).

10. Georgia Tech - Love - A school capable of "clean, old-fashioned hate" is a school after my own heart.

2. Wisconsin – Love - Back in 1999 I went to Minneapolis to catch the first round of tournament games in the Metrodome and sat directly in front of a Badger fan who, after UW won one of their traditional 48-44 masterpieces, said “That’s Wisconsin. An offensive juggernaut.” They’re not fun to watch but they’re still lovable in their ugliness.

16. Texas A&M-Corpus Christi – Love – This school is located on its own island! One of only two schools to make the claim and they’re both on the Gulf Coast. The body of Christ? Amen. That was once a Final Jeopardy question and I got it. Loved Corpus ever since.

Previous Entries: the South, the West, and the East.

The Only Headline Manny Gakou is Likely to Get

Self-aggrandizement is so sexy.

When you are offered the opportunity to contribute to the best new sports blog on the phonelines (never became the electronic version of "airwaves" like I thought it would and now dial-up is dead...sigh), you say "YES." When the man doing the tapping is NGS 1 winner, Ty Hildenbrandt, and he's asking you to write about your team's chances in the Big Dance, well, you pour your heart and soul into it.

I did that, or at least I tried to, with a post on Creighton's chances against Nevada for QuickSlants.com.

In a startling bit of coincidence, I used to turn 3-yard quick slants into long touchdowns in high school all the time. I was the Jerry Rice of Nebraska Class C-1 football for four years, so just typing in the address for Ty's site is as joyous as caressing the leather sleeves of my letterman's jacket.

If you have no such delusional word association, just check out the site for the quality writing like this piece about the annoying nature of ESPN's Tournament Challenge set-up.

Love and Loathing in the South Regional

Note: As a wholly obsessive supplement to my latest FOXSports.com column, welcome to Love and Loathing in the NCAA Tournament. The third in a four part series that will provide my totally biased and baseless evaluation of each team in the tournament.

Also known as: "The Last Tournament Breakdown you Need."

Check back daily as I'll be revelaing a new quarter of the bracket in the days leading up to Thursday's tip-off.

SOUTH

1. Ohio State – Loathe - If I was more of a man I wouldn’t let my football biases get in the way, but the most ridiculous definite article in sport clouds everything. Battle lines are clearly drawn with the inclusion of the word “THE”. If you are/were a Buckeye, I understand your insistence upon using it. I’d do the same thing. But I’m not a Buckeye and it just sounds pompous to everyone else.

16. Central Connecticut State – Loathe – I know one thing about the other Blue Devils: I once saw a male cheerleader of theirs, who was shaped like a D2 tackle, pick up two cheerleaders, extend both arms and spin in a circle while holding them both in the air. Despite that, I find nothing more to recommend CCSU.

8. BYU - Loathe - Back in the 90s I found myself in Fort Collins during the WAC tournament and we ended up at a BYU-CSU game. Now the only compelling reason to watch BYU back then was Shawn Bradley. Not having followed the squad, I thought I was going to see the tallest man I could imagine live and in person. He was on his mission. I've never forgotten.

9. Xavier - Love - Besides Quinnipiac, no school dominates the alphabet like XU. Just look at that, XU, it's perfect. They have a giant X on their court and somehow this makes them entirely badass.

5. Tennessee – Love – More schools should reference moonshine in their fight songs. As long as Bruce Pearl and Pat Summitt stay on their respective sidelines, there’s nothing stopping me from enjoying the Vols in March.

12. Long Beach State – Love – Along with sleazeball, dirtbag is a relatively mild slur that I don’t utter often enough and it is the unofficial nickname of the school’s baseball team. While the basketball team is known simply as the 49ers, I think there’s enough residual good will from the local nine’s name to enable me to support The Beach.

4. Virginia – Love – Just a totally intriguing school, from Thomas Jefferson’s influence to “taking” degrees to secret societies. If I had former or future lives I’d definitely matriculate at Charlottesville in one of them.

13. UAlbany – Love – This one is easy. I love Post-it notes and we have an Albany alum to thank for their existence. Additionally, Great Danes, and its Scrappy-Doo rendering, is hands down the best mascot in the tournament.

6. Louisville – Love – I should probably hate this team for making me think I had a shot back in 2005, but there’s just something about the Old English ‘L’ that has me mesmerized. That and watching Pitino age.

11. Stanford - Loathe - I'm tired of that tree and that's all there is to it. With all honesty, I can't say I've considred Stanford once this college basketball season. They could've canceled the season and I wouldn't have known.

3. Texas Ag. & Mech. – Love - I’m genetically predisposed to love any team called the “Aggies.” Add that to the fact that A&M provides a nice counterpoint to the Longhorns and they’ve never really been here before and you have a pretty simple Cinderella story as a three-seed.

14. Penn – Love – It’s pretty tough to hate whatever team comes out of the Ivy League. They just quietly do their own thing, don’t get a Championship Week spotlight because they don’t have a tournament, show up for a round and go back to preparing to run the rest of the world. Maybe it’s not “tough” to hate these guys, rather, it’s not advisable.

7. Nevada – Loathe – What give you the right to insist upon being called “Nevada”? You’re the University of Nevada-Reno. I know it and you know it.

10. Creighton – Love – The only school in the tournament that I actually attended, albeit for only a year, but what a year it was. I threw an alley-oop to future Heat/Sixer/Grizzlie/King/Net Rodney Buford and was personally told by Dana Altman that I’d never make it as a walk-on. Fair enough. My true rooting interest in the tournament.

2. Memphis – Love – There’s just something slimy about a team helmed by John Calipari, but I’m foregoing any ill will on behalf of Wink Martindale. In addition to hosting High Rollers and Tic Tac Dough, Martindale recorded a version of Frankie Miller’s immortal “Black Land Farmer” which is enough for me to hope the Tigers make the Final Four.

15. North Texas – Love – Definitely the only school to name their football team after a famous former player’s nickname. But if it’s good enough for “Mean” Joe Greene, why don’t more schools do the same? I think the Jackson State Sweetness might be the best nickname nobody’s thought of yet.

Up Next: the Midwest.

Previous: the East, the West.

The Best Tourney Piece I've Read Thus Far...

...Comes courtesy of Gene Wojciechowski, or Columnist W for short I guess, at ESPN.com. He spent Selection Sunday with the brains behind the betting line, Las Vegas Sports Consultants. Pretty fascinating peek behind the curtain.

Of particular not for me? Creighton-Nevada was one of the seven games where the brain trust was split on who should be the favorite. Good news for the Jays.

Love and Loathing in the East Regional

Note: As a wholly obsessive supplement to my latest FOXSports.com column, welcome to Love and Loathing in the NCAA Tournament. The second in a four part series that will provide my totally biased and baseless evaluation of each team in the tournament.

Also known as: "The Last Tournament Breakdown you Need."

Check back daily as I'll be revelaing a new quarter of the bracket in the days leading up to Thursday's tip-off.

EAST

1. North Carolina – Love - I’ve had a soft spot for the Heels since they were still sporting the tar-on-heel logo due to the Jordan factor, but it’s tough to loathe a team that is the heaven to Blue Devil hell. Roy Williams’ arrival made things a bit more difficult, but still, they’re not Duke and that’s the ultimate recommendation.

16. Eastern Kentucky – Love – When Colonel Sanders is your mascot, and the Six Million Dollar Man went to your school, well, what’s not to love?

8. Marquette - Loathe - Have we decided on an official nickname for this team yet?

9. Michigan State - Loathe - It's not your fault MSU. Everyone on ESPN calls you Sparty and, for some reason, that drives me crazy.

5. USC – Loathe – As hard as it is to spurn the Song Girls, I cannot approve of their recent level of success in all sports. Nobody likes a winner.

12. Arkansas - Loathe - I've got nothing against Arkansas. 40 minutes of Hell was way more fun to watch than it sounds, but then you went and put "Hogs" across your rumps, ruining a perfectly fine uniform.

4. Texas – Loathe – Much like Notre Dame and THE OSU, I understand the allure. If I was from Texas I’d probably drive a burnt-orange pick-up. I’m not and I don’t. Like Georgetown, I have a feeling that they’ll be spent after their deep conference tourney.

13. New Mexico State – Love – Reggie Theus has done an amazing job with the Aggies, but it’s really nothing compared to his work with the Deering Tornadoes on Saturday mornings. I mean, they had a girl on the boys varsity team…in Indiana. Talk about tough.

6. Vanderbilt – Love – Another school on my second-life shortlist. Where was my guidance councilor when it came time to choose a school?

11. George Washington – Love – Another “the” school, I’m willing to overlook it due to the fact that the school’s official colors are Buff & Blue? All this time I thought they were gold, but it turns out that’s actually the color of buffalo leather. “Hail to the Buff & Blue” indeed.

3. Washington State – Love – Forget Wisconsin, Wazzu has their own creamery and produces their own brand of cheese: Cougar Gold. Mmmm.

14. Oral Roberts – Loathe – I often wonder what it must be like to be a student athlete at ORU. The school was founded by a televangelist and the students aren’t allowed to lie, curse, steal, gamble or “engage in illicit sex acts,” all things that are virtual requirements for athletes at any other school. Maybe if it was Fulton J. Sheen University I could get behind them, but not here. I’m holding out for Joel Osteen.

7. Boston College – Loathe – If you want major college athletics in Boston, the Eagles are your only bet and I don’t like that. This is probably another football reflection, but I don’t care. One thing in BC’s favor, they’re definitely the only school to have their fight song covered by the Dropkick Murphys.

10. Texas Tech - Love - Anything that results in a Bobby Knight press conference is definitely worth supporting. Break out the whips!

2. Georgetown – Love – Even the University doesn’t know what a Hoya is and somehow that’s reassuring. The most likely explanation is that it’s a combination of Greek and Latin terms, making the word “hoya” the most recognizable term in the Greekin language which, for the record, is second only to Spanglish in terms of linguistic mutts. Love those grey jerseys, but I have a feeling they may have peaked in the Big East tourney.

15. Belmont – Loathe – I don’t want to say that Belmont University has single-handedly ruined country music, but the school’s College of Entertainment and Music Business is probably one of the bloodiest. While Mike Curb didn’t attend, he is one of the university’s primary patrons and anyone who signed Nemesis Rising to a recording contract simply cannot receive my support.

Up Next: the South

Earlier: the West

The Most Valuable Website of the Tournament

Is it just a coincidence that it was this week that I heard my first ad for MyExcusedAbsence.com? Probably, but what timing.

For the low, low price of $24.95 you can get five templates for things like jury duty and doctor's appointments. Will your boss become suspicious that it's signed by "Dr. Sicknote?" Absolutely not. Trust me and try it.

Of course, just like The BeerBelly and tournament pools themselves, MyExcusedAbsence.com is "for entertainment purposes only."

See what you do is, give your boss a funeral note (do they really have those?) for Thursday and your jury duty notice for Friday and he'll be totally convinced that you're having the worst week ever. Meanwhile, you spend all weekend eating DiGiorno's and watching hoops.

When you come back on Monday, bloated and puffy, there will probably be flowers on your desk. At that point, you prance into your boss' office, slap him on the back and tell him the truth.

That's entertainment.

Quick thoughts on THE DRAW

Been watching nothing but bracket talk for the past 2.5 hours and I'm about at my limit. But first, some quick thoughts...

--Bob Huggins sounded positively despondent on ESPN. Whenever a coach refers to his interviewer by name it's bad news. When asked by Rece Davis what the Wildcats should've done, Huggins responded, "I don't know, Rece, won more games?" Ouch. And I can't say they don't have a beef with Texas Tech probably practicing right now in preparation for their game.

--Georgetown and Texas both probably upped their status in their respective conference tournaments, but I have a feeling they may have peaked too early. The Hoyas waltzed over Pitt and seem poised for a return to Earth, while a visibly tired Longhorn squad fought tooth and nail with Kansas, only to lose the Big XII Championship.

I know they'll be popular picks in the coming days, but I'd stay away.

--Creighton's draw is a double-edged sword. I typically don't like these match-ups between two teams in the upper third of the mid-major heap. On one hand, it's probably a better match-up for the Jays and the Wolfpack could be without a key contributor. On the other hand, you lose a little of that "David picked up a stone and slung it" edge because you're facing a team that should be on level terms. If I had my choice, I'd just as soon see CU take on BC because I'm not sure Anthony Tolliver can stay out of foul trouble against Nick Fazekas.

--It's good to see UNLV again.

--Have you ever wondered what Stacey King is up to these days? Well, he's working the NIT Selection Show right now.

--While the 8-9 games should, in theory, be the best match-ups of the first round, they're almost always duds between major conference tweeners. These were the true bubble teams and now we get to watch a bunch of stragglers like Xavier, Purdue and Michigan State slug it out. Thrilling.

--Digger Phelps tie/hi-liter coordination is still the worst thing in television. It's not that it is such an obviously contrived trademark, it's that it's just not a good obviously contrived trademark. What am I supposed to think when I see this? "Hey! His marker and his neckwear match! Fascinating."

--Speaking of the NIT, who is on that committee anyway? Is it strictly volunteer? How do I sign up? As long as I'm wasn't the guy who had to call and invite Jim Boeheim, I think I could do it.

Check back tomorrow for a more extensive but no less personal evaluation of the West bracket.

The Morning Walk-thru - A Mid-Wiki Guide to the Tourney

Pretty slow sports day yesterday. Zambrano didn't say anything crazy and I can't really talk about the Thomas Jones trade without punching a wall, so I thought I'd just provide an informational round-up of the teams already in the dance using only Wikipedia.

Keep in mind, since this is Wikipedia, none of this may actually be true but it's often more fun to just assume that it is...

Belmont edjumacated Minnie Pearl just so she could spend her entire career pretending like she never got one. I'll have a lot more to say about these Bruins next week.

Creighton hates the Chicago Cubs. Aside from unleashing alumnus Bob Gibson on the Northsiders (and the rest of the National League for that matter), the Bluejays former National Coach of the Year, Jim Hendry, is now running the team into the ground.

Davidson is a school with only 1700 students and nearly 3000 times that many people will pick them to lose in the first round next week. Welcome to the big time. And if it wasn't bad enough to be just another team called the Wildcats, the mascot's name is actually Mr. Cat. Creative.

Eastern Kentucky is the alma mater of the freakin' Six Million Dollar Man. While I like their nickname as it is, wouldn't it be infinitely better if they just switched from Colonels to the EKU Six Million Dollar Men? (And "Lady Men" of course.)

Gonzaga is the ultimate king of the underestimated, over achieving white athlete. Check out this roster: John Stockton, Dan Dickau, Adam Morrison, Richie Frahm, and Jason Bay. Yes, I'm leaving out MLS and NASCAR.

Niagara actually has a pretty storied hoops history. Hubie Brown, Frank Layden and Calvin Murphy were Purple Eagles, but they all pale in comparison to Juan Mendez, the highest scoring Canadian in NCAA history. (How do you like that Steve Nash?) Few people actually believe this due to the fact that Juan has a Mexican name.

North Texas is one pissed off place. "Mean" Joe Greene played his college ball there and inspired the team's nickname. But if you think Mean Green is a little ridiculous, it could be worse. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin also suited up for the team and practiced his beer-chugging while at NTSU.

Oral Roberts is the world's largest charismatic Christian university and that scares the hell outta me which, I guess, is their ultimate goal. Students are not allowed to drink, smoke, lie, curse, gamble or be gay. Men can't wear earrings and the school is actually named after a televangelist. They even have their own special language on campus. It's called "tongues."

Penn's official motto is Leges sine moribus vanae and it sounds a lot more impressive in Latin than it actually is. "Laws without morals are useless." Okay. Man law!

VCU is home to the largest French film festival in the United States and honestly, that's all I, or you, need to know about them. Quoi?

Winthrop probably helped you hone your reading skills. Cecily Truett Lencit, an alumnus, was a producer on Reading Rainbow. Other than that they're really not very exciting.

Wright State is named after the first family in flight, but Dayton is the Flyers. Hmmm. Nevertheless, I'm guessing that Wright State will be the only school in the tournament to have spawned a Pussycat Doll.

Check back for more updates later in the week.

**UPDATE** I was wrong in yesterday's post about those crazy Nike uniforms. Turns out the Gator print jerseys that Florida debuted last week actually were the new "System of Dress" uniforms. Maybe it's just me, but they didn't look quite as form-fitting during the game as they did in the photo provided by Nike.

Anyway, the sneaker beheamoth has unveiled the official System of Dress website, and learn that nike thinks it's really inspirational to put the names of former greats on the teams' base layers. So as you're watching Greg Oden this March just know that he's wearing a shirt that says "John Havlicek" on it.

Honestly, the most interesting hting I learned from the site was that Lute Olsen insists upon keeping the UA cactus logo at mid-court. It's all in the details.

HiPlains Bookshelf: March Madness Edition

Taking a break from the morning walk thru today due to the fact that I had a free pass to a pre-screening last night of Black Snake Moan and I didn't get to my usual reading. So rather than pretend I did and hustle something together, I'm going to debut something I've been wanting to do for a while: the HiPlains Bookshelf (handily linked in the sidebar.)

I'm entirely serious about compiling one of the greatest sports book libraries ever seen. I've got gold foil ex libri stamps from Barnes & Noble and a 20+ year head start.

The first edition is in celebration of us finally reaching March so we'll take a look at some of the best college hoops has to offer below.

And the movie? Let's just say that I probably owe my girlfriend one chick-flick after watching her squirm for 100 minutes. In other words, guys, it was good. Not great, but Samuel L. was unstoppable. As he says before ripping off the greatest gangsta rap blues song I've ever heard:

Ya'll ready for some shit?


Raw Recruits - Alexander Wolff & Armen Keteyian

Before Nike and adidas logos ever started showing up on the fronts of college jerseys, this book exposed their influence over college hoops and the recruiting game. Read about Chris Mills getting cash in the mail and see Rex Chapman's Puerto Rican-style nameplate necklace.

All you really need to know about this book is summed up by one of its central characters, Sonny Vaccaro, "It's a cesspool and we start the process."


A Season on the Brink - John Feinstein

My college coach was so much like Knight in this book that I swear he must have read it and made the conscious decision to fully model his coaching style on the reporting of John Feinstein. From his fondness for kicking kids out of practice to his deifying former players while denigrating the current squad to judgment clouding competitiveness, it was all there.

My favorite line from the book: "Daryl...do you know you haven't scored a basket inside since Jesus Christ was lecturing in Omaha?"

I don't even know what that means but I love it.



Fab Five - Mitch Albom

Still the only book, regardless of genre, that I've read twice in one week. Not only does it serve as a valuable reminder of when and how college basketball changed to what we see today (read about the equipment manager ordering the extra inches on the inseam and see the players buying black Nike socks at the mall!), the book is also proof that Mitch Albom was, at one time, interesting.

"What are you afraid of Jalen?"

"Death," Jalen said, "because I can't imagine the world without me in it."



To Hate Like This Is to Be Happy Forever: A Thoroughly Obsessive, Intermittently Uplifting, and Occasionally Unbiased Account of the Duke-North Carolina Basketball Rivalry - Will Blythe

I included the full-title above because it's a good indication that this isn't your typical sports book. In fact, I'm confident in saying that it's the best book I've read in the past year, no qualifier necessary.

Blythe is a former literary editor at Esquire and the book truly reads like sports literature. An entire book devoted to one man's hatred of Duke? Who wouldn't want to read that? Who wouldn't want to write 20,000 words slamming their personal rival?

"I am a sick, sick man. Not only am I consumed by hatred, I am delighted by it. I have done some checking into the matter and have discovered that the world's great religions and wisdom traditions tend to frown upon this."

It's about basketball. It's about obsession. It's the perfect book to get you through the three days between tournament rounds this month.

Up Next: Opening Day Edition