Morning Walk-thru - SAWX!

Fenway Open for Business...While I won't be at the game today, I'll merely be working a few hundred feet away, you can be damn sure I'll sneak down to Lansdowne Street to patronize the Sausage Guy right behind the Monstah by the third inning.

Now, it's entirely possible that I'll step in an ankle-deep pool of vomit and my commute home will be extended by an hour, but who cares? It's opening day at Fenway, and if Papelbon pitches anything like he did Sunday night against Los Rangers (they didn't stand a chance) it could be a happy season in the Fens.

And, yes, this entire section was just an excuse to use my own original photograph from a Fenway tour a few years back. Will the Mariners remember how to play after a four-day vacation in beautiful Cleveland?

Cubs winless at Wrigley this year...The Cubs suffered their fourth loss of the season in the home opener yesterday. Bob Howry has pitched 3.2 innings this season and has two of those loses. Sizzling.

Meanwhile, Soriano has a seven-game hitting streak to start the season, problem is he's gone 1-4 three times and 1-5 in the other five. No RBI. No homers. One stolen base.

It's still early to draw any long-term conclusions, but it is a bit alarming to see the Cubs already a game below .500 when you consider they've only played fellow Central foes.

Mas Caballos, por favor...In addition to spitting out some of the best sports related t-shirts around, including the only t-shirt I'd spend $36 on (even more here), No Mas runs a kick ass blog and now they've added a horse racing columnist to the mix.

The site was already covering the sweet science but getting Frank Mitchell to write about the ponies officially makes them the best blog for sports fans who still wish it was 1934. And I do.

The Derby preps are in full swing and the first Saturday in May will be here before you know it. Make No Mas a daily stop before then.

You Fought All the Way, Hey Reb, Hey Reb

And the best dressed team in the tournament is moving on!

As my de facto team for the rest of the tournament, I couldn't be happier. I'll never get tired of those red uniforms the Rebels are sporting this year. In fact, everything about the school just might be perfect. Some of the many reasons to love the Rebels:

--Their simple black letters flush against the red, no outline. It smacks you in the teeth and says, "this is who we are and we're serious."

--UNLV's mascot has the greatest mustache alive.

--Silver numbers. Really nice touch.

--They're from Vegas? When else would you enjoy rooting for the house?

The Morning Walk-thru - Big Z knows "The Secret"

My love for Hagwilt knows no bounds...Just when I think Carlos "HAve Gun WILl Travel" Zambrano couldn't have provided a more entertaining Spring, he opens his mouth again.

This time, Hagwilt thought it was worth noting that he could've gone nine in his first start of the season instead of two, but what followed was even better:

"I belive this year, I can win the Cy Young, and besdies that we will win the World Series. I guarantee that. I have faith in that."

As sports fans, I think we're immune to guarantees at this point. You'll get at least five of them in the upcoming NBA Playoffs, but it's not that Hagwilt guaranteed a championship that's interesting. It's how he did it. Real non-chalant.

Let me translate. What Carlos was really saying was:

I'll probably win the Cy Young this year after getting shafted last year where I won a quarter of my team's games by myself, but I doubt anyone will really notice, what with us ending the most infamous streak in sport and all. I believe this, thus it will be so. I too have been reading The Secret.

Sweet Lou's response to his fiery fireballer's comments?

"You've got an emotional manager, for God's sake. Sure, I like an emotional pitcher...You can't have 25 Stepford Wives."

Damn right, Lou. That movie sucked.

Let us rejoice and be glad in it...In other Cubs related news, both Prior and Wood pitched yesterday in the same game and the world did not immediately fall victim to the plague.

Wood was pretty sharp, getting three outs on 12 pitches, but Prior struggled, giving up three runs on four hits and two walks in less than two innings.

What does this mean? The usual. They'll both be on the DL by Memorial Day.

It's so much worse than I thought...Last week I postulated that Florida's new gator-skin jerseys would be their tournament specials from Nike that I'd been hearing so much about. If only it were that simple.

Turns out that themed-prints simply aren't enough for the sportswear giant. Instead, the've decided to make the cagers at Ohio State, Syracuse, Florida, and Arizona look like they're participating in the NFL combine with shirts that are 10 inches smaller through the torso, shorts that appear to be 10 inches longer (who would've thought that even possible?), and, most notably, sleeves. Take that Evansville!

Check out the garb below...




The new look will debut tonight, so all that remains to be seen is who will look the most ridiculous: Matt Gorman, Matt Terwilliger, or Bret Brielmaier.

I'm not sure which is more alarming. The fact that all the options listed just happen to be big dorky white guys, or how easy it was to pick out the big dorky white guys on the rosters based on name alone.

Either way, Nike has officially become your mom when it comes to dressing kids for school.

The Morning Walk-thru - Size 46 Gators

They're not crocodile boots, but I'll take 'em...While watching Florida-Tennessee two nights ago, I wondered why the Gators were wearing what looked to be sueded uniforms. Was velour now for more than just sweatsuits? Then I remembered that Florida was a Nike school and Nike had used some interesting themed prints during football season on their undershirts so I looked a little closer and, sure enough, the Gators were wearing Gator. (Picture here.)

In actuality this should be horrific, but in reality it's barely noticeable if not a bit Magical. (See: T-Mac) But I like the idea behind what Nike seems to be calling the Culture Print. Take some aspect of a school's history, mascot or geography and incorporate it in to the uniform mix. Sounds like a great idea to me, but there are varying levels of success.

The Gators, Seminoles, and Trojans are a little too literal for my tastes, but Alabama and Texas more than make up for it in originality.

The Tide took Bear's houndstooth check and used it for neckline trim during footbaw season in perhaps the finest tribute since Landry's fedora patch.

And Texas, well, they went all Western on us with a hand-tooled leather pattern. I am 100% in favor of this and I'm generally required to hate all things Longhorn.

Word is, that Florida jersey is actually their "tournament special", so it seems likely that it will be Pattern Madness come March.

It's good to be Tim Riggins...My initial assessment of Friday Night Lights was pretty indecisive, but I'm fully hooked now and that's mostly because of the mythic Riggins.

You want to talk about legendary high school career? Riggins basically gets to behave like a single 32-year-old man while he's still seventeen. In last night's episode he was working on his truck (like showering in Texas) when he told an ankle-biter to go away because he was hungover, then softened and taught the tyke to throw a spiral before going into the kid's house, snatching a beer and cracking it in front of the lil' guy's mom, who probably would've attacked him like it was an Axe ad if not for the present company.

That's living the dream.

Way better than a jersey...On Tuesday I touched on Michael Barrett's blue blood and after the Pierzynski donnybrook last season I proclaimed him the Cubs de facto leader, but last night I decided to do something in support of the Cubs backstop.

I am proud (really) to announce that hiplainsdrifter.com is the official sponsor of Michael Barrett's Baseball-Reference page. The ad may or may not show up at this point as every my comments have yet to be approved. We'll see if they censor my Pierzynski pot shot.

Sadly, Shawon Dunston's page is locked up through mid-June, but Doug Dascenzo is available for the low, low price of $10 as is Dwight Smith who, in 1989, scintillated in the outfield alongside the eventual Rookie of the Year, Jerome Walton.

In case you're wondering exactly what the ROY award is worth, it's apparently $5. Jerome is available for $15.

Il Buono, Il Brutto, Il Cattivo

Two interesting uni-related posts I happened across today:

The Good

From the D.C. Sports Blog, check out the Gilbert Arenas jersey one of his readers snagged on Valentine's day. Of course it's not your standard Wizards jersey...that would be awful by nature. Rather, it's a Washington Nationals jersey with Arenas' name and number on the back.

I love this idea. Genius in its simplicity and I'm shocked I haven't seen it elsewhere. (Outside of the WGN broadcast booth, that is.) While I probably shouldn't be wearing jerseys at this point in my life, if you were to offer me a Zambrano #38 Bulls jersey or a Hester #23 Cubs jersey, I'm pretty sure I couldn't turn it down.

The Bad & The Ugly

While the guys over at Goat Riders have expressed their love for it, I absolutely hate the Cubs new batting practice caps. I fear this is just the first step in the NFL-ization of hats which has severly hampered my ability to watch the pro game.

The sandwich bill I can live with but the little red gussets above the ear look positively ridiculous, like a Little Leaguer with his ears tucked into his hatband or something. And what's with the white 'C'?

If I wanted a crappy Cubs hat I've got about 150 options available to me at Lids. No need for MLB to promote another one.