This Could Get Ugly

A good friend of mine really struggled to watch playoff baseball, not because he wasn't interested but rather he was too keenly interested. Simply put, the pressures of October were nearly too much for him to handle.

I'm starting to understand how he felt and it's only August. In the National League only four teams can reasonably be eliminated from the playoff chase. It's sort of like watching European horse racing (excruciating for the record): everybody stands in their irons in one big, barely jogging mass for three-quarters of the course, then hunkers down for a furious sprint in the stretch.

That's how the NL feels after the Rockies swept the Brewers this week and then split with Cubs to leave them only two games out of the Wild Card and within striking distance in the NL West. The Rockies! Steve Phillips just picked them to make the playoffs.

I'm fine with that as long as it doesn't come at the expense of the Cubs. Sweet Lou's squad has not responded to the loss of Soriano, going 2-4 on their latest road trip. The losses were only tempered by the fact that Milwaukee was losing too, but Chicago needs to find some answers this week at home against Cincinnati and a suddenly relevant St. Louis team. When Soriano went down I circled August 28-30 on my calendar. It's the final series between the Cubs and Brewers and it was going to be pivotal. Now I'm just hoping both teams can tread water long enough that the winner of that series will still be in first place at the end of the month.

And then there's the Red Sox. As you've no doubt heard, Eric Gagne didn't have a good trip to the Charm City and now the Yankees are a scant four games back in the AL East. Make no mistake, if New York catches Boston this race is over. Boston's hopes of a World Series already look pretty shaky but if the Yankees return from the dead it would be catastrophic for Sox fans. They had done something they never would've had the balls to do before this year: bury the Yanks, disregard them.

To lose that lead? Well, it would feel like 2003 all over again.

I can't deal with all of this, so I'm just going to keep preparing for college football season and try not to scoreboard watch. Somebody nudge me when this race reaches the stretch. I'm afraid it's all I can give.

Morning Walk-thru - Huh?

Cubs win again?...What's that you say? The Cubs won another one-run ballgame? This latest one a come from behind job with the go ahead RBI delivered by Cesar freakin' Izturis? You tell me that their last three wins have been by one run?!

Preposterous. But true.

Prior to this home stand, the Cubs genuinely were about 10 runs short of having a winning record and being neck and neck with the Brewers at the top of the Central. They'd outscored their opponents on the season, but when the games were tight so were the Cubs.

Maybe that's changing now. It's only four games, 2/81st of a major league season so I'm not going crazy yet, but the Cubs are 9-5 since Zambrano slugged Barrett.

And speaking of the Cubs backstop, looks like he'll be getting some time off in the next couple of weeks. Lou's saying all the right things, but privately I still think he's seething.

Blindsided...Who would've thought that Josh Becket's first loss of the season would've come against the Colorado Rockies? Not me, but maybe we should stop being surprised, the Rockies are .500 now thanks largely to going 15-6 in interleague play thus far.

Garrett Atkins is finally starting to hit, Matt Holiday has been one of the best players in the NL so far, Todd Helton has been Todd Helton, and Brad "This is Why I'm" Hawpe truly has been fly, flirting with the .300 mark.

The Red Sox on the other hand, just got rocked by the Rockies in their home park and we can keep being surprised by that because the Sox haven't been the Sox of late. (Exhibit A: Winning the Wakefield game but getting shelled with Schilling and Beckett on the bump.)

Meanwhile, the Yankees won their ninth straight. Two games over .500 and only 7.5 out. Something wicked this way comes Boston.

Oh and by the way...the Spurs are your NBA Champions. The last four minutes of last night's game were the first I made an effort to watch and I immediately regretted it. This series was sort of like watching a dung beetle do it's thing on the old Discovery channel. (When the channel was a punch line, not one of the best sources of programming on cable.)

You knew those beetles would get their shit together, literally, just like everyone knew the Spurs would get rid of the Cavs rather quickly. There wasn't any drama but there's still a bit of interest in the process. For me, that interest lasted about four minutes of the fourth quarter in game four. Then the Spurs won and the lamest championship celebration ever ensued.

Everyone just raised their hands and hugged one another. It wasn't joy, just relief. The Spurs were able to take what had been handed to them and now they can listen to dynasty talk until next October.

Riddle me this: When does a win feel like a loss?

The Red Sox won the series finale at Oakland on Thursday, avoiding the sweep and ending a four game skid, but it barely feels that way. Not with Curt Schilling taking a no-hitter into the ninth and retiring the first two batters before giving up a hard single to Shannon Stewart. The actual outcome ran a distant second to Curt's climb up baseball's Mt. Everest, but if you don't plant the flag at the summit it sort of feels like a wasted trip.

That's not to discount Schilling's performance. He was brilliant. 100 pitches. 71 strikes. Longest losing streak of the season: over. That's what your ace is supposed to do. Still, in the story-length season, it would've been nice to end this particular early-June sentence with an exclamation point, not a period.

Would it have erased all memories of the recent mini-swoon? No. Would it have changed the fact that the Yankees took two out of three over the weekend? No. Would it have obscured the fact that Schilling probably needed to pitch a near no-hitter thanks to the Sox one run on four hits (and a slight seven runs over the four-game series)? Probably.

That's the difference between a no-hitter and a one-hitter. Not what it accomplishes but how it feels. But that same line is blurred considerably when you lose it with one out.

Morning Walk-thru - Karma...a foul temptress

Rumors of the Yankees death have been greatly exaggerated...The Bronx Bombers took two out of three from the Red Sox, trimming their lead to 9 1/2 games with only 117 left to play. I think it's a bit ridiculous to start counting games now. The debates started on Sunday: have the Sox buried the Yankees? Can a Rocket launch even help the Yankees overcome the light-years lead?

Three short years ago, such blatant tempting of fate would've been unthinkable here in New England. In fact, it still feels like an unnecessary luxury or even like a nervous giggle right before you get the crap kicked out of you, talking about a Sox lead in May. Bad Karma!

But after the ping pong balls set the Celtics back 7 or 8 years on Tuesday night, I say tempt away. There's now way one city can be asked to stomach the death of its storied basketball franchise and collapse against their arch-nemesis in one year right? These things have to even out.

Or do they?...Sean Marshall threw 104 pretty good pitches last night, but the only one that mattered was the one that got away. The Triple A call-up was cruising through 6 innings last night, holding the Padres to two hits and nursing a one-run lead, before giving up a single followed by a 2-0 home run to Kevin freakin' Kouzmanoff and that was it: 7 IP, 4 H, 2 ER, 1 BB, 8 SO and another one-run loss.

It was the Cubs 10th such loss this year, a season that's quickly shaping up to be one of the worst in recent memory. Not one of the worst teams, the team is actually good--we think--but one of the worst seasons because of the disparity between talent and results.

Almost exactly a month ago, I mentioned this exact plight on this very site. This week, Jonah Keri touched on it for ESPN.com. If you take a look at the Baseball Prospectus Adjusted Standings--which factor in a lot of important metrics, formulas and corollaries, both real and imagined--the Cubs are actually ahead of the the Brewers in the NL Central.

None of this makes me feel any better as it still leads to a painful, depressing conclusion: the Cubs are losing because they're the Cubs and I'm not quite sure how to handle that. I've had years of practice at overvaluing the squad, thinking they had a shot when they really didn't. That's easy. Been doing it for years. I was even excited when Henry Rodriguez joined the squad back in the day. I was delusional.

But this might be much worse. On paper, the Cubs are a National League favorite. But on that same paper, in a different section, they're still a sub-.500 team trying to stay alive in baseball's weakest division.

Whoever the cosmic accountant is has notoriously shoddy bookkeeping.

Morning Walk-thru - The Exchange Rate

Cornhuskers on the Worldwide Leader?...Now that TBS is broadcasting teams other than the Braves, FoxSports is looking for a home for its Saturday night Big 12 games. Word on the street is that ESPN (or the Deuce) is the likely home.

I, however, am still skeptical. I'm not sure what the impetus is here for ESPN. As the column notes, there aren't many TVs in Big 12 country relative to every where else. But the other thing is the Big 12 hasn't been that good lately.

Sure, Texas won the national title two years ago and Oklahoma has been a factor year in and year out, but that's about it. I don't see you're average Big 12 match-up between, say, K-State and Missouri ever outshining the usual SEC Saturday night slot.

In fact don't be surprised if the Big 12 got the ESPNU treatment, which is certainly worse than TBS, Versus or even the NFL Network in my viewing area as I'm not sure ESPNU actually exists.

Or maybe they'll get the "Semi-Circle" treatment. None of the "family of networks" will actually televise the game. Instead, you'll just get Colin Cowherd talking about the game on ESPN Radio.

Sox sack Canada...That was fun. The Olde Towne Team went north and swept the reeling Bluejays, outscoring them 26-5 in three games. Boston hit nine home runs total and only two of them came from the Dominican Death Squad.

Yep, Mike Lowell homered in each game of the series, but don't get too excited. That's only 2.69874 home runs in the US.

MLS History...The World Cup it ain't. I'm sure you noticed this morning that the Colorado Rapids and Real Salt Lake drew 1-1 last night. (It was the featured ESPN game after all. You didn't watch?)

This is notable because both goals were own goals--a first in the dusty MLS annals--which I think should count as a loss for both teams. Forget making MLS history, let's make sports history. When you're a fledgling sports league could there be another solution?

Morning Walk-thru - She shines with her own kind of light

Live from Lincoln, it's Saturday Night! ESPN/ABC/Disney released the confirmed college footbaw games for their Saturday night primetime telecasts yesterday and it's an interesting slate. Tennessee-Cal open the season Sept. 1 in an intriguing rematch from last year. I'm sure the mustard-clad Bears will be particularly spicy considering the embarrassment they endured in Knoxville in 06.

Two weeks later, it's USC @ Nebraska and I'm already salivating. The game was already going to be big as the Cornhuskers are still looking for a marquee win that says "we're back." But when you throw Keller into the mix it gets even better. He's got something to prove after tossing 5 INTs the last time he faced the Trojans. Win that game, in what is sure to be the craziest night in Lincoln in some time, and Sam will never buy a drink in Nebraska again. (After he completes his eligibility of course. The NCAA is everywhere!)

After that it gets a bit dicier with Wazzu visiting LA the week after, followed by Notre Dame doing the same two weeks later against UCLA.

Papelbon blows it...A save that is. Sadly, he won't be perfect on the season. First Dice-K pitches like a mortal, now this. With the Red Sox payroll, is infallibility too much to ask?

Can't win for winning...Even when the Cubs are winning, they're not really winning. After fighting back valiantly to take a 6-5 lead against the Pirates in the 7th, the game was suspended due to rain.

Now all Chicago has to do is come back today, play out the rest of their game with a one-run lead, then turn around after a half-hour break and win again.

Do you think Vegas even takes bets on the odds against the Cubs winning two games in one day?

Baron & the Boys are going to regret this...For an extended amount of time last night, I really thought we were going to see the biggest NBA story unfold since Kobe's 80-point outburst last year. After going down by 21 early, Golden State climbed all the way back and looked like they were about to really beat the Mavericks. The Warriors were flying around, making threes, pounding their hearts and laughing--laughing--right in Mark Cuban's face.

But when it came down to it they couldn't, or didn't, deliver the death blow. Dirk Nowitzki realized that there was a playoff game going on around him, spurring a 15-0 run with a couple of threes to close out the game. We'll see how Golden State recovers back home.

I know one thing, I don't want this series to end. Watching games in Oakland reminds me of the good old days, and the "on-the-brink-of-the-biggest-upset-ever" tension has made even Mark Cuban speechless.

The next round fate of both teams is probably already written. Dallas survives and they can just make reservations for the conference finals. You don't survive something like this as a 1-seed and feel like you've cheated death. Meanwhile, if the Warriors win the road ends for them in the next round. You expend too much energy and emotion to keep it up.

Point is, enjoy it while it lasts.

Big in Kentucky...My recent FOXSports.com column, shamelessly linked in the post prior to this one, resulted in my first ever piece of hate mail and I couldn't be happier.

A native Kentuckian wrote to tell me she was "disgusted" by what I wrote, the whole hats and crying thing, and also assertiedthat I didn't care and/or knew nothing about the sport.

"Not everyone cares about football, basketball or baseball," she said and that was entirely the point I was trying to make.

Perhaps I should be more concerned with clarity. Nevertheless, it's always good to know someone is reading.

Morning Walk-thru - Hey! Hey!

What the hell is going on here?...The Cubs finally gave Ted Lily (2.18 ERA) some support yesterday and beat the Brew Crew 9-3. The win leaves Chicago at 8-13, good enough for last place in the NL Central and the second worst record in the National League. But why have they been so bad thus far?

I ask because the Yun' Ball Coach brought up this interesting stat via email: the Cubs have actually scored more runs (97) then they've allowed (84). The only other team in the division that can make that claim is Milwaukee and they're in first place, but their run differential is a paltry one, while the Cubs have scored the second most runs in the division and given up the second fewest.

And they're in last place.

The statistical oddities continue. Below are the Cubs offensive rankings going in to yesterday's action (NL rank, Central rank):

H (2nd, 1st), 2B (1st, 1st), HR (9th, 4th), RBI (6th, 2nd), TB (4th, 2nd), BB (13th, 5th), SO (5th, 1st), OBP (9th, 2nd), AVG (3rd, T-1st).

Based on those stats, it's hard to see how the Cubs are in the Central cellar. In three of the categories (H, 2B, AVG) they're leading the league and in three of the other "good" ones they're trailing only Milwaukee. Of course, they're leading the division in strike outs and are second worst in walks, but even with that, they're still one off the lead in OBP.

Must be the pitching. Let's look at some of those numbers:

ERA (6th, 2nd), R (7th, T-2nd), HR (15th, 6th), BB (11th, 6th), SO (1st, 1st), WHIP (3rd, 2nd), AVG (2nd, 1st), OBA (3rd, 2nd), K/9 (1st, 1st), H/9 (2nd, 1st)

.

The bad stats here are pretty glaring, home runs and walks, but in every other category the Cubs are right in the mix (and nowhere near the worst team in the Central.) So, to ask the titular question, what the hell? Why aren't the Cubs at least .500?

I really don't know. I guess it comes down to the old playoff cliche: timely pitching and timely hitting. Over the long run they have been pretty good, but in the impact stats HRs and BBs they're struggling both offensively and defensively.

On one hand, this could be an encouraging sign. Eventually, these stats will have to show up in the won-loss ledger, right?

On the other, it really depresses me as it confirms something I've long suspected, the Cubs are bad because they're the Cubs.

Let's play two, dominate 90% of the statistical categories that matter, and lose them both.

WarrNuggs can't complete their waltz across Texas...After being shocked on their home floors in the respective Game Ones, San Antonio and Dallas both responded with victories.

Game Two is always the most important game in any seven-game series. It's the fan's first chance to see how players, coaches and teams respond to the information gathered from the first game, and, unfortunately for me and anyone else hoping for an upset, it went pretty much by the book.

Golden State and Denver both looked impressive in small spurts, but Dallas and San Antonio each did what they had to do. Conventional wisdom says that if you're the road team all you hope for is a split, but it still feels like the Texas heavyweights have things under control.

What fun is that?

I can't wait to read about this on 38pitches.com...Orioles broadcaster, Gary Thorne, said during last night's game that Doug Mirabelli had told him that Curt Schilling's bloody sock from the 2004 ALCS was a fake. Painted for publicity not bloodied and sodden with shear courage.

Of course, every Red Sox representative scoffed at the notion. Mirabelli called Thorne an (expletive). Theo used an (expletive). Schilling will probably never speak to a media member again.

But the solution seems pretty simple. Pull the sock out of the HOF and do some tests. This will never happen, however. The stakes are too high. The sock is part of baseball lore now, a mythic talisman commemorating the end of the Curse. What would happen if it was a fake?

Interested to see how this plays out.

Morning Walk-thru - Ouch

A-Rod hits two homers and nobody cares*...Alex Rodriguez hit his 13th and 14th home run of the season but it didn't matter as the Yankees lost to the Devil Rays 10-8.

That makes four straight for the Yankees, and, personally, I love it. Sure, they only have half a team, but it's always good to watch the "good" guys struggle.

Sawx lose, but I enjoyed it...Happened to be in the second row for the Sox loss to Toronto last night, but it was all worth it considering I was in basically the on-deck circle for the Jays. Frank Thomas is huge. Greg Zaun is not. These were more than foul ball seats, they were broken bat seats.

Can't ask for much more than that.

Cubs continue to kill me...Despite going up 4-0 on the Brewers with Zambrano on the hill, the Cubs still lost in 12 innings 5-4. I'm not sure how much worse it can get,

Of course the Cubs got their chances but two home runs by Prince Fielder, a member of the Fruit Jar Drinkers, killed the Cubs.

Someday they'll get a break, I swear. The question is: will it matter? I'm doubtful.

Coming soon...my first ever post in the Big Red Roundtable series. For those of you who are non-Nebraska fans (shame on you), feel free to skip this whenever it appears this week.

* Forgive the brevity. Today's post was severely hampered by last night's Jays-Sox over indulgence.

Morning Walk-thru - Good 4 Evil 2

Denver does San Antonio...The Nuggets beat San Antonio at home last night, to take a 1-0 lead in the opening round playoff series. The Nuggets! In San Antonio!

Denver might actually be able to make some noise this spring. They have one of the best scorers in the game in Anthony and perhaps the toughest player of the modern era in Iverson. (That's more than the Lakers can say. They have the scoring part and little else.)

Both of the Nuggets stars showed up big on Sunday with Melo putting up 31 and the Answer 30. Each of them were perfect from the free throw line.

The only thing I can see holding the Nuggets back is George Karl. Is it too late for Phil Jackson to join the Nuggets? That's basically what he does right?

With or without Jackson, the Nuggets are officially my rooting interest in the West and I'll root, root, root for the Bull-ies in the East.

Don Nelson Does Dallas...And if one playoff upset wasn't enough, Golden State beat top-seeded Dallas in one of the toughest places to play in the league. Baron Davis had 33 pts, 14 rebs, and 8 assts, and Mark Cuban had one giant puss on his face (to borrow from The Sopranos). The difference here is, as opposed to the Nuggets, that the Warrior have no chance of beating Dalls in a seven game series.

In fact, I'll be shocked if this one doesn't end up 4-1 Mavericks.

Dice-K still mortal, but that's good enough...While we're still waiting for Matsuzaka to display the sake-esque mind bending powers we all know he has, he did beat the Yankees in his first ever start in the rivalry, scooping up the first sweep of the Bronx Bombers in Fenway in 17 years.

It took the long ball, including back to back to back to back homers from Ramirez, Drew, Lowell and Varitek, but Boston completed their third straight come back win in the series. I don't want to read too much into one late-April series, but it was nice to feel like no matter what happened, the Sawx were going to find a way to get it done.

Maybe we shouldn't be surprised, however, considering the current state of the Yanks. It's been a while since I've watched New York and had no idea who three or four of the players were. They trotted out a slew of average white guys with average white guy names (Colter Bean, Chase Wright, Josh Phelps), even throwing Andy Pettite in relief after he'd just thrown on Friday. They'll be back, but for now, on this rivalry weekend representing the eternal struggle between heaven and hell, it's White Hates 4 Black Hats 2, because...

The Cubs lost .667 of the games they played this weekend...With the wind blowing out yesterday, the Cubs fell in the 10th to St. Louis and dropped 2 of 3 to the epitome of evil at Wrigley Field. The fact that Chicago even got to the 10th is a minor miracle considering they went down two in the top of 9th, then lucked into two runs on a wind-aided fluke single from Mark DeRosa. Somehow the Cardinals didn't put the game away until the 10th as the Cubs bullpen, one of the only consistent areas of success for the Cubs thus far, allowed the lead-off man to reach in the 8th, 9th and 10th innings.

That eventually catches up to you. You can't give Albert Pujols too many opportunities to be Albert Pujols and he finally burned Ryan Dempster with a three-run shot to put it out of reach.

Despite all that, I don't feel too bad about the Cubs after this weekend. They've been bad, but if they can pick up a couple of wins against the Brewers they'll have survived April. Two wins and they're knocking on the door for second in the division.

This is the most optimistic I've been following a Cubs loss--to the Cardinals no less--in quite some time and I don't have a reson for that. Maybe I'm delusional.

Deep thoughts...You know what's better than seeing this guy score a 62-meter goal(that's 200+ feet, America) in the Bundesliga? German, that's what. Makes this video at least four times better.



Photo: Getty Images

Morning Walk-thru - The difference between the Red Sox and Yankees in two pitches

A Rivalry Reduced...Yesterday Alex Rodriguez hit a walk-off, three run homer to beat the Indians. This was his second walk-off of the season. Nobody's hit two game winners that fast in the past five years since the all-time MLB legend Pat Burrell who had two in the first nine games in 2002.

Good for A-Rod, but Manny Ramirez also made his first dinger of the season momentous, hitting a two out, two-run homer to tie the Jays after a solid performance out of Doc Halladay. There was a key difference, however, and it involved the post contact celebration that says all you need to know about the Red Sox and Yankees.

(I wish these clips were on YouTube, but they're not, so you'll just have to bear with me.)

Rodgriguez hit his game winner and reacted like a little leaguer, tossing his bat and throwing his hands into the air in a "Do you love me now, New York?" gesture and then tossed his helmet between third and home and did the same thing before bouncing on home plate and getting all slap happy with his teammates. (Here's the post swing photo.)

Ramirez, on the other hand, did his usual "I'll just drop the bat here and walk a few steps" before breaking into a trot. That says, "I know this makes me look like a jerk, but it's not my fault. You really shouldn't thrown a pitch right there." This has always been my favorite post-home run theatric in the game. It's no longer good enough to simply "act like you've been there before."

Not with Manny around. You have to act like you do it every damn day. That's what "the walk" says, and A-Rod looked like he'd hit the first home run of his career.

What better way to lead in to the first Yankees-Sox series of the season?

UPDATE: Bob Ryan's thoughts on the rivalry in today's Boston Globe were particularly prescient.

Hate to credit the Sooners, but this is classy!...I grew up as a Nebraska fan knowing one thing: we hate Oklahoma. My first ever Husker game was the 1987 OU-NU battle and I fear that the rivalry is lost on kids weaned on the Big XII. That said, it pains me to admit that this is probably the best thing I'll see until college football actually starts in September (courtesy of the always amazing Wizard of Odds).

Former Sooner Billy Simms, a current partner in Billy Simms Barbecue, has painted the inside of his restaurant's toilets burnt orange and affixed them with a Texas Longhorns logo. That's what college football is all about. Ridiculousness camouflaged by regional pride.

I'd like to take issue with the fact that Simms has "Mini-Huskers" on his menu but I can't really do that considering OU dominated NU while he was there.

Nevertheless, I'd probably go there should I ever find myself in Oklahoma just to piss on Bevo.

Rich Hill has been extremely lucky thus far...I don't really believe that but I've been specifically asked not to mention Rich Hill's 3-0 start or his 0.64 ERA or 0.57 WHIP for fear of jinxing the lone bright spot for the Cubs and expediting the inevitable freak elbow tightness.

As a Cubs fan, that makes perfect sense.

Who's fantasy is this?...My fantasy Fruit Jar Drinkers have had a nightmarish week. Here are four players I've lost this week alone: Vladimir Guerrero, Alfonso Soriano, B.J. Ryan and Felix Hernandez.

God, this is fun.

Morning Walk-thru - Et tu, Caesar?

Isn't this fun?...I love baseball season. Last night, it looked like the Cubs were on their way to a real major league win. No 14 hits and 9 runs with the wind blowing out. A genuine, bona fide, come from behind, show some guts win.

After HaGWilT was his usual mercurial self early on, losing a one-run lead in the first by giving up a three-run homer to Jeff Franceour and struggling with his control throughout, the Cubs actually (swear to God) overcame that. They scored two runs in the top of the 7th following a lead off walk to Pie and back-to-back doubles by Lee and Ramirez to take a one run lead and let HaGWilT off the hook.

Scott Eyre came on and pitched pretty well initially. Got two quick outs then got hosed on a close 2-2 pitch that should've ended the inning. Of course that led to a walk and then the next batter grounded to former Gold Glover Caesar Izturis who played paddycake with the ball, allowing the runner, some random pinch hitter who I can't remember, to beat it out at first. (Aside: If you're not going to play something close to Gold Glove defense, Izturis, you're worthless because you're bat isn't winning any games.) From there you can just assume the rest. This is the Cubs afterall. Consecutive hits, three runs, Cubs load the bases with one out and threaten in the 8th but ground into a double play, Bob Wickman is summoned from his bowling league and Chicago ultimately loses.*

I don't even know what else to say. I consciously choose to watch/listen to, root for and follow a team that reenacts my own personal nightmare night in and night out. There's no explaining why.

* - Author note: Everything prior to the asterisk above was written immediately after the Braves took the lead in the 7th. There was a moment when the bases were loaded in the 8th where I thought I might have to rewrite the entire thing. Stupid me. This is the Cubs. I feel like the half-boy, half-ostrich character from that PETA South Park episode. "Kill ME. Kill ME."

How 'bout a knuckle sammich?...Tim Wakefield has a 1.35 ERA right now despite the fact that he still looks like he's throwing coach-pitch to a bunch of 10-year-olds.

I love Tim Wakefield. I could go to the box right now, not having swung a bat in 12 years, and look at the guy and expect to get a hit, but the best baseball players in the world haven't been able to thus far.

The anti-salary cap...Brian Uhrlacher was fined $100K for wearing a Vitaminwater hat during Super Bowl media day. What a bastard. First Tank Johnson, now Uhrlacher. Don't the Bears have any respect for the laws and morals of modern-day society? Everybody knows that Gatorade is the official drink of the NFL. To suggest otherwise, by wearing the hat or drinking the candy water itself, is just about the most offensive thing I've heard in weeks.

That said, if I was Uhrlacher, I'd just send fellow pitchmen 50 Cent and David Ortiz to pay Roger Goodell a visit. They could probably change his mind.

Morning Walk-thru - Young Eyes Upon Texas

Return of the Mack...Fresh off a top-five recruiting class, Texas coach Mack Brown has already filled 18 out of his 22 available scholarships for next year with some of the best juniors in the country. Apparently kids just show up in Austin these days and sign on the dotted line. (Having this can't hurt.)

Now, I'm an excellent video game recruiter year in and year out. I'm not great at pitching the whole "Academics" angle, but get me in the living room and I'll give you the top class every year.

That's basically what Mack Brown (and Pete Carroll) are doing right now, but I wonder if it's the best course of action. Football is a different beast than basketball. Kids start playing later and players develop a bit later. A kid can change a lot over the summer between his junior and senior years, including his mind.

All these guys are still going to take all their recruiting visits. They'll party all over the country and get the VIP treatment even though they're "going to Texas." Maybe they end up there, maybe they don't but college football is cyclical and freak numbers like these feel a bit like the dot-com boom or being a pro poker player about four years ago. Good times end, so enjoy them now.

Ten years ago USC was 6-5, Texas was 4-7 and Nebraska was being fitted for their third national championship ring. I think it's time we got back to that.

Meanwhile, right next door...Things continue to unravel at Arkansas. Arkansas Democrat Gazette reports that Mitch Mustain requested phone records for Houston Nutt and assorted staff members under the freedom of information act.

For his mom.

Some kids are better equipped to handle college than others. We all knew the guy in the dorm whose mother would bring him freshly laundered clothing each week.

Mustain is sort of like that, except his mother tries to get his coach fired.

Love to see this kid in a USC uniform in the near future.

Craps!...Is it too early to call Dice-K a bust? He's now lost twice as many games as he's won on American soil and last night he gave up three hits and two earned runs to the only team that accepts Canadian coins. Three hits! Dragonball-K only struck out a thrid of the 30 batters he faced. His ERA ballooned from 2.57 to 2.70! We've been played a fool.

As best I can tell, Matsuzaka isn't putting any ki on the ball, which is precisely why the Sox brought him over. If the Fenway faithful don't see at least one Genki Dama soon, I fear the only option left for Dice-K might be Jibaku, which would be a a pretty pricey set of fireworks.

Or, they'll just throw a slice at him...

Morning Walk-thru - Sea of Red is Roiling

Mizzou ain't USC...Steve Hanway of BigRedNetwork.com had an interesting article yesterday ranking each game of the 2007 Nebraska football schedule in order of importance. His argument is that Big 12 North games trump Big 12 South games which trump non-conference games. I assume this is because that's the path of least resistance to the Big 12 Championship game and the automatic BCS berth.

I disagree and that's not a critique of the piece because the logical part of me--three digits on my left hand, if you're interested--tells me that he's probably right. The competitive part of me--everything minus those three digits--says screw that.

Nebraska has a chance to make a significant splash right off the bat with their non-conference schedule, playing pesky Nevada, resurgent Wake Forest on the road and damn USC. In the grand bowl/Big 12 scheme of things, USC doesn't mean much. The Cornhuskers won't be favored so should they lose, no biggie.

But it is big. Beat USC and Nebraska is a factor in the national title race in week three, which means nothing when it comes to actually playing in the game, but it means everything in terms of fan faith. Even if it only lasted a week, Nebraska would be THE story. Return to glory. Hail to the chief. All that jazz. And even if you lose that game and all the fancy headlines it would bring, Texas still looms and it could be even more important in terms of recruiting Big 12 country and future success.

Is winning the North an achievement? Sort of, considering 2004 and the WCO overhaul, but I'm not that patient. I expect Nebraska to be a national factor next year because, well, that's what Nebraska used to be year in and year out and beating USC and/or Texas can put us there at least temporarily, something going 5-0 in the North won't do.

Does that mean I'm willing to wager the Big 12 North for a win against the Trojans or Texas? No, but I don't have to. I can settle for winning the division after we've already played our entire non-conference schedule plus the Longhorns. I just want to "concede the conference to Texas" before it's even started. Missouri will be there later.

So here's how I rank the 2007 slate of games right now:

1. USC - Just like last year, we shouldn't win this game. We're not ready, but it's a Super Mario warp zone that could take us straight to level 8-1. That's a big leap.
2. Texas - You want to really recruit Texas? Knock off the Longhorns.
3. Missouri - As big as it should get in the North.
4. Nevada - Home opener, first look at the new QB. (More on that later.)
5. Kansas St. - Need to keep the Cats in there place.
6. Texas A&M - Aggies are on their way back, but Nebraska has owned them thus far.
7. Wake Forest - Tough road game for a QB in his second start. Good test before the Trojans.
8. Oklahoma State - The Cornhuskers won't get much out of beating OSU at home...except revenge for taking a major gouge out of the 06 season.
9. Colorado - Trips to Folsom Prison are always so much fun. Expect Hawkins to have the Buffs running by then.
10. Iowa State - Want to flip them and Kansas? Go ahead.
11. Kansas - See above.
12. Ball State - Only significant if we lose and I refuse to consider that possibility.

Is that the smart approach? Not at all, but it's a hell of a lot more fun and, as you'll see in the next segment, I'm not that smart anyway.

The Curious Case of Sam Keller...Tim Griffin of the San Antonio Express-News had a good piece detailing Nebraska's tumultuous off-season and the battle for the starting quarterback job on ESPN.com yesterday.

If you've been following the story, you know that Joe Ganz and, to a lesser extent, Beau Davis, have been pushing the perceived favorite, Keller, in spring practice. Whether or not this is actually true or not is debatable because Bill Callahan has never said anything meaningful regarding the current or future state of the team in public, but it really doesn't matter whether coach is playing it close the vest or simply bluffing.

The choice is Keller.

It has to be. Let's recap how Keller got here: in 2006 he gets the starting job at Arizona State, loses it a day later, decides to transfer and has three days to select a school. He chooses Nebraska because of its vibrant academic community, unbeatable climate, and beautiful campus. (Maybe the fact that Zac Taylor was a senior also had something to do with it.)

The point is, he came here to play. That's his expectation and everyone else's, including his marginally crazy father. Would it be a shame to give the job to a kid because he's a noted hot-head or if he was less deserving after weeks of evaluation or simply to avoid the exact same situation that happened at ASU last year? Yes, it would be a shame, but it might not be wrong.

I think it would be more damaging to the team and the 07 season to have Keller start the season on the bench with egg on his face. This is a national story, and the primary reason most pundits think Nebraska can be better than last year under a new QB is because that new QB put up some pretty sparkly stats in a pretty good football conference.

So let him prove everyone wrong. Let him play his way out of favor in action that the finicky fans can actually see. If Ganz is the right guy, we will know that before Ball State rolls into town and there's still time to right the ship.

Bending to the fragile ego of a 20-something man-child and purposely punishing a kid, Ganz, who's done everything that's been asked of him is wholly ridiculous. I hate myself for even posing the question, but it seems preferable to having a sulking Sam on the sidelines and a QB controversy to start the season.

How many games did the Sun Devils win last year?

Caribbean Stud superior to Pai Gow Poker...In Dice-K's big Fenway debut, it was Felix Hernandez who stole the show, taking a no-hitter into the 8th and getting a one-hit shut out.

It's not like Dice-K was bad, just a little off. He only walked one, and allowed three runs through seven complete. Of course, this will seem like the end of the world in Boston.

Dillon wins State!...No shock there, but a bit of a surprise because Friday Night Lights was granted a temporary reprieve from the executioner's chair as NBC picked up the show for an additional six episodes.

That's good because the show left us with the big Coach Taylor cliffhanger, but perhaps more interesting is the fact that half of the major players in the show were seniors. Where do they go from here?

Morning Walk-thru - Jackie Robinson hated the Indians?

Again?...I really don't like to criticize specific sportswriters unless, of course, they're claiming that Kobe Bryant is better than MJ or they're writing the same "Boo! The Redskins, Indians and Braves are the very definition of evil" column I seem to read once a year.

This year, it's Keith Law of ESPN's Page 2 who is making the case. If that was it, I wouldn't even care. I'm so tired of this argument that I can't even argue with it anymore, but tying it to 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson's MLB debut? That's wafer thin.

Here's an example:

You'll hear the arguments that these nicknames aren't actually mocking Native Americans but honoring them. This is obviously false; if using ethnic stereotypes and epithets were a way of honoring segments of our population, the NAACP would be campaigning for the Mets to change their name to the New York Negroes.

"Obviously false?" I'd say possibly false, but you'll have a hard time convincing me of the negative connotation of "the Braves." (Note: the root word of "Braves" is actually, brave.)

Every time this column comes out--yes, they're all the same--I have two thoughts: 1) the one group I rarely hear complaining about this is the actual group who is supposed to be offended. Somehow, I don't think the Sioux give a damn about what Jhonny Peralta wears on his head. And 2) why doesn't anyone ever mention Notre Dame?

You know what's offensive? "Nappy headed ho's", the most famous three words in quotation marks right now, and that's coming from one of the few guys under 30 who would admit to listening to Don Imus on occasion.

Papelbon's new best bud?...As reported on Deadspin, the Red Sox signed a new bullpen arm by the name of J.D. Durbin and, based on his Myspace page, which is entitled "Tits and Ass for Me" and features the pitcher standing between Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood, I'm thinking this guy will have some fun in the pen with Loozeanna Pap, good ole boy that he is.

Also, I'm confident that Mr. Durbin will insist that the J.D. stands for Jack Daniels just to differentiate himself from J.D. Drew. Seems like something he'd be in to.

It's debatable whether or not Durbin will stick around very long, but I'm fully in favor of this move. Boston needs guys like this.

**UPDATE** Durbin has already been designated for assignment. Theo doesn't think Boston needs guys like that, I guess.

Double thanks...to Double Extra Point for the recent link and for pointing me towards the newest Nebraska corner of the Internet, HuskerGuy's blog.

Welcome, friend.

Cubs lose--again...It's way too early for this. My days are already defined by the Cubs day-by-day death march. Win and it's a good day, lose and it's a bad day. We all know how well that works out.

Grindhouse gets crushed...The Rodriguez-Tarantino double-feature opened at just under $12 million dollars and finished fourth at the box office in its first weekend. Should we be surprised? Probably not. It's a risky (i.e. long) format dedicated to a subgenre of movies that weren't very good in the first place.

But I still think it points to Ty Burr's assertion, which I mentioned on Monday, that true grindhouse films don't exist any more. In fact, the alternative side of Hollywood is increasingly easier to find making it more difficult to pinpoint. Independent films have their own channels now and the movies that would've been drive-in specials 30 years ago now top the box office for at least a week. (See: the crappy new breed of horror flicks.)

Or, maybe everything is just so awful now that films that purposely set out to be awful simply seem average relative to everything else.

Either way, one of the Weinstein's announced that Death Proof and Project Terror would be released separately on DVD, so if you want the full double-feature effect, get to the the theatre. Based on these numbers, it won't be happening again any time soon.

Morning Walk-thru - SAWX!

Fenway Open for Business...While I won't be at the game today, I'll merely be working a few hundred feet away, you can be damn sure I'll sneak down to Lansdowne Street to patronize the Sausage Guy right behind the Monstah by the third inning.

Now, it's entirely possible that I'll step in an ankle-deep pool of vomit and my commute home will be extended by an hour, but who cares? It's opening day at Fenway, and if Papelbon pitches anything like he did Sunday night against Los Rangers (they didn't stand a chance) it could be a happy season in the Fens.

And, yes, this entire section was just an excuse to use my own original photograph from a Fenway tour a few years back. Will the Mariners remember how to play after a four-day vacation in beautiful Cleveland?

Cubs winless at Wrigley this year...The Cubs suffered their fourth loss of the season in the home opener yesterday. Bob Howry has pitched 3.2 innings this season and has two of those loses. Sizzling.

Meanwhile, Soriano has a seven-game hitting streak to start the season, problem is he's gone 1-4 three times and 1-5 in the other five. No RBI. No homers. One stolen base.

It's still early to draw any long-term conclusions, but it is a bit alarming to see the Cubs already a game below .500 when you consider they've only played fellow Central foes.

Mas Caballos, por favor...In addition to spitting out some of the best sports related t-shirts around, including the only t-shirt I'd spend $36 on (even more here), No Mas runs a kick ass blog and now they've added a horse racing columnist to the mix.

The site was already covering the sweet science but getting Frank Mitchell to write about the ponies officially makes them the best blog for sports fans who still wish it was 1934. And I do.

The Derby preps are in full swing and the first Saturday in May will be here before you know it. Make No Mas a daily stop before then.

Morning Walk-thru - Para-Dice

Yesterday in Kansas City, MO...a precocious young Japanese import wound-up, turned his back to the batter and unfurled a brilliant orb of light from one of his eight arms and every person in the crowd not wearing a Red Sox hat, by far the minority I'm told, was instantly vaporized.

And with that, Daisuke Matsuzaka met expectations in his first start. For now.

Dice-K deigned to throw 108 pitches that could at least be heard by mortal men, and 74 of them ended up strikes. A seemingly random number, but nothing is random when it comes to Matsuzaka.

74 strikes was the perfect number. The yin and the yang. Don't believe it? Check this out: What do you get when you multiply Dice-K's innings pitched (7) times hits allowed (6) plus strikeouts (10) plus his uniform number (18) plus the rest of his box score runs (1), earned runs (1), walks (1) and home runs (1)? You get seventy-freakin'-four.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. All of those 74 strikes were fastballs, change-ups, sliders and the such. If you think Dice-K is breaking out Kakusanyudokodan against the Royals, well, you're wrong.

He'll save that shit for Giambi-san.

Speaking of Dice-K...Onemoredyingquail has a good little rant on the nickname "Dice-K" here and I shared many of the same thoughts when I saw the first shirts with the new moniker outside the TD Banknorth Garden earlier this winter.

Any nickname that includes a hyphen is generally bad news, but I softened a bit on Dice-K when I realized it was actually a visual representation of the correct pronunciation of Daisuke. That seems okay.

Imagine if Nazr Mohammed's nickname was actually /naz-ee/. It would make things so easy.

I don't really watch golf...but I love the Masters. The logo is pure perfection.

Enjoy the weekend. Hopefully I'll have a full Grindhouse review for you by Monday.

Weekend Reader

Some fresh and not so fresh links to keep you entertained before the Final Four and after, during that long, lazy Sunday before Monday's title game...

--Yesterday I expressed excitement, and confusion, over the fact that Chuck Klosterman was blogging from the Final Four in Atlanta. Gawker.com (Deadspin's daddy) has a significantly more vitriolic take on Chuck's blog-bash in his initial post. While their post is interesting enough on it's own, the comments might be even better.

I wondered how bad the Chuck-lash currently was, but it seems as if he, to borrow from Malcolm Gladwell, reached his tipping point a few years ago. There were people in the comments claiming to hate him from the moment he started at SPIN, and others who cited Killing Yourself to Live as the last straw.

Now, Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs still sells remarkably well, so if I had to estimate said tipping point, it seems like somewhere between Cocoa Puffs and Killing Yourself so circa-2005. That seems fitting. This was also the year Maria Carey was "Emancipated" to the delight of 10 million music fans.

--So Oprah has officially endorsed Cormac McCarthy's The Road as her latest book club pick and, despite protestations to the contrary in today's Boston Globe, it still seems like a dark, edgy pick to me. Maybe I'm wrong, but I would guess that the majority of Oprah's disciples hadn't read McCarthy's post-apocalyptic opus. Stories about cannibalism and a father-son struggle to survive in a world gone dark aren't exactly mom approved, so I'm sticking to my guns.

I have yet to read the book, but it's on my queue now. (Does this make me a disciple?) In the meantime, Oprah's omnipresent reach has resulted in a media blitz for all things McCarthy which is good news for us. The New York Times has made available one of the few interviews with the reclusive author and you can find it here.

Now that that's out of the way, I should probably provide some sportswriting since that's sort of what I typically do around here.

--The Tim Tebow Bill? In Alabama? After you get done reading that (and stop ogling the accompanying photo), the college big-rig race that I mentioned a few days ago is still getting submissions. Browse around on The Wizard of Odds to see the latest entries. (Congrats to the site for starting a legitimate Internet phenomenon with that initial post.)

--The great thing about baseball previews is that there are so many of them. Don't like the placement of your favorite team, no worries, just find another one. After seeing far too many realistic evaluations that had the Cubs as low as fourth in the NL Central, I was delighted to find that One More Dying Quail has the Cubbies in the World Series against the Sawx.

I'm not so certain that could happen, but I like to dream. It feels like 2003 all over again. (Side note: How hard is the NL Central to handicap this year? A number of previews I've seen have the Brewers taking the pennant. Now, I like the Brewers team and honestly I'd be delighted if they did, but I'm not sold yet.)

--Don't forget that we have the first major Derby prep race of the year on Saturday, the Grade 1 Florida Derby. Problem is, you might have trouble finding it. No national coverage. Luckily, Left at the Gate has you covered.

Morning Walk-thru - There was a lot of mud, but it was THEIR mud

Another stellar episode...of Friday Night Lights last night. They played in a monsoon in a cow pasture and Dillon won to "go to state" and it was all intercut with an attempted rape sequence. Can't say I've ever seen that before, but it was surprisingly powerful in the face of being creepy and I think that pretty much sums up the first season of the show.

Let's face it, this is a soap opera with football. The melodrama is always on the brink of overwhelming you but it never quite does...because there's football. Bi-polar disorders, rampant infidelity, paraplegic self-pity, rape, algebra, it all sounds like a bit much...but there's football. Hell, the Killers were prominently featured last night...but there was football...and Texas.

I don't think you can underestimate the importance of the setting. Where else could this show take place? Greasy Whataburgers, Wranglers and oil derricks add a lot of flavor.

All in all, a great hour of my life and the good news is, according to the post-show promo for next week's episode, we've got an "exceptional" one on tap for next week.

Who says these games don't mean anything?...Ladies and gentlemen, your 2007 Mayor's Cup champions...the Boston Red Sox. By defeating the Twins last night 5-4 Boston won the preseasons series with Minnesota and the cup that comes with it.

How come nobody knows about this? Watching the game last night was the first I'd ever heard of it. Apparently because the Twins and Sawx both reside in Ft. Myers for the Spring and play each other twice a week, they created a traveling trophy and now it will reside in the Bean for all of 2007.

The Dice-K signing is already paying dividends.

Speaking of Spring Training games...I have no desire to go to one. Watching that game last night, the crowd kinda freaked me out.

First off, being Florida, the median age was about 57. Secondly, everyone just kind of sits there silently. Sure there are some snow birds who genuinely care about seeing a bunch of non-roster invitees get their ABs but it seems like most people were just there to watch and not cheer.

It looked like a video game baseball crowd, just a mash of beige colored flesh and blue and red t-shirts that occasionally created a dull roar, which I suppose is fitting; pretend baseball games get pretend crowds, just like on the PS2.

Spring isn't just for the players, it's for me too. I need it to get ready as a fan and sorting out who I actually have to follow and who I don't is the manager's job. I don't need to see the auditions.

An armistice for Uncle Sam's Army...In a painfully ugly game, the U.S. finished with a nil-nil draw in their friendly with Guatemala last night, putting an end to the three-game winning streak that had enraptured the nation during a lackluster N.C.A.A. Tournament. (Yeah, it's true. Where were you?)

The lone bright spot for the Yanquis that my untrained soccer eye could see was Eric Wynalda. The former national team player has continued to provide honest, sometimes scathing, analysis during the games, displaying his passion for U.S. Soccer while keep them in check with frequent critiques.

Even better, however, is his readily apparent disdain for every other team in CONCACAF. Seeing yet another Guatemalteco fall to the pitch like his Achilles had just been slashed by an American spike was entertaining for two reasons: 1) flopping is funny, and 2) waiting to hear what Wynalda would say. (And don't even get him started on Mexico).

In a somewhat related note, this football game in Texas was not played in a pasture. Ironically, it looked like it was played in a large high school football stadium.

The Morning Walk-thru

The season starts now...Spring Training has begun and the traditional slate of non-stories bubble up from Florida and Arizona every day now: Dice-K throws BP, Wood hurts himself and misses 8 hours, Barry Bonds has a funny t-shirt (which actually might be sorta remarkable, who knew he had a sense of humor?). The important thing isn't what happens in Spring Training, it's that Spring Training is happening and with that comes the promise of everything American: watery beer, cheap encased meats and baseball.

But video game companies are ready to let fans get started now. They time the release of their games just early enough so the rosters won't be quite right come Opening Day but who the hell cares? You can play (virtual) baseball while there's still snow on the ground.

This week will see the release of Major League Baseball 2K7 and MLB '07 The Show, but before taking the next step forward in hardball software, let's first take a look back courtesy of Bugs & Cranks writer Brad Bortone, who delivered the first of what is sure to be an interesting series looking at the history of baseball video game.

While Bortone focused on the early history of baseball gaming, and I remembered a handful of games played on my father's Odyssey, I couldn't help but look ahead to the true rise of baseball on the NES. Everyone seems to agree that RBI Baseball was the first true quantum leap forward, but, looking back, I always favored Bases Loaded.

I knew BL was the game for me once I saw that the infielders actually fired the ball over to first rather than using the long-toss lob that made most grounders a judgment call. Sure it didn't have real teams, uniforms, stadiums or players, but it did have video franchises in such remote outposts as Kansas, Hawaii and Omaha.

The fake players went on to become as renowned as many major leaguers for a generation of young fans. Tell me if you recognize these names: Frieda, Fendy, Marcus, Gantos, Patson. Perhaps more telling, those all paled to Jersey's immortal Paste: simply the greatest fictional baseball player ever, beating out such luminaries as Sidd Finch and Roy Hobbs.

In fact, Paste may have been the model for the modern-day slugger. Undeniable talent with a crucial character flaw. While Paste possessed the power to hit mammoth home runs off nearly any pitch, he was also as likely to be tossed before the game became official. His penchant for taking issue with plunkings was legendary and, if you were a savvy manager, you could count on him being tossed before you even had to use your set-up man.

My brother and I played a lot of baseball games from a lot of different sources. Bo Jackson, Tecmo, Griffey Jr., Little League Baseball and even Dusty Diamond's All-Star Softball (play it here), where Diablo hit with a freakin' mace!

Even that wasn't as intimidating as seeing Pace dig in.

We all speak "baseball"...I happened to catch some of NESN's Red Sox spring training coverage and after an interview with Dice-K I started to wonder about the interpreters these teams employ. How did they get this job? What are they paid? Do they realize they're some of the first people to infiltrate the inner baseball circle without any real connection to the game?

This piece from the Sunday New York Times answered many of those questions. For example, the Sox hired a Harvard grad to aide their two Japanese players and the Yankees will spend about $300K this season on their interpreters/media assistants. But the one thing I'm still wondering is: do the players have a say in who gets the job?

The NYT piece points out that these interpreters don't really have a definite job description. They're everything from a personal assistant to a warm-up partner in addition to bridging the language gulf. But if that's the case and you're a player, wouldn't you want some say in who your personal guide through Americana is going to be?

Think about it, every time you order a pizza or go to the grocery store or talk to the pitching coach, some guy is going to be the intermediary. The story calls them "shadows," and if some team dropped $50 million on me, I'd make sure that I got a person I could spend an entire year with. Giving multi-million dollar investments Johnny Ivyleague violates every single thing we've learned about entourage assembly.

Should I ever end up as a pro in Japan, I'm requesting, no demanding, Bobby Valentine. Or Bill Murray. He's gotta know after Lost in Translation.

The Departed does it...there was a lot to love about The Departed: the cast, Boston, the Irish mob, that Dropkick Murphy's song, but I was pulling for it last night at the Academy Awards simply because it'd been six years since we had a Best Picture winner that would appeal to your average meat head sports fan. (Not to say all sports fans are meat heads, certainly not the case, but look at it this way: the Oscars is like the Super Bowl for people who don't care about the Super Bowl.)

The last film to fit that bill was Gladiator in 2000. Look at the winners since then and tell me if your ordinary average guy, the guy you watch football with on Sat./Sun., has these movies in his collection: A Beautiful Mind (too mopey), Chicago (a musical), LOTR (maybe, but it is fantasy and it beat out an actual sports movie), Million Dollar Baby (some sports fans probably got caught up in the hype and saw this...and I'm guessing they never watched it again--too much morality), and Crash (like watching two hours of instant replay challenges).

So enjoy it this morning fellas, it'll probably be another five years before we unwashed masses get another movie that we'd actually watch that wins. "Heavy lies the crown."

The Morning Walk-thru - I expect you to stay

Throw 'em the dark one...So it turns out the gyroball is actually just a spiral. Despite all the talk about hips and shoulders and double-spin mechanincs, all you're really doing is throwing a baseball like you'd throw a football. Feels a little anti-climatic but it's good news for Red Sox fans. It means that, after all the hullabaloo, this might be a pitch you'll actually see this season:




Further proof that February must simply be survived...we're still a week away from Black Snake Moan. I'm pretty excited for this film. It's got the South, the Blues and the Samuel L. Jackson in a role that allows him to do Samuel L. Jackson things (scream and look crazy).

But don't take my word for it, check out the critical mass:

"...Pulp Fiction with a Southern accent and a heart of gold..." --Andrew O'Hehir, Salon.com

"If blues is an exorcism (as Muddy Waters once said), Black Snake Moan is pretty much The Exorcist." --Kevin N. Laforest, Montreal Film Journal

So The Exorcist meets Pulp Fiction with a bunch of words like chicken-fried, Southern gothic, gravy and pulpy to flesh out the reviews? I'm in.

A final dish to DJ...RIP