The Things You Miss by Not Living in the South

In case you missed this on EDSBS...marvel...




Oh, to have a rival. (Much less two.) One can only hope that "puke-filled-pumpkin" can become an official color for UT. We've always known that the Vols hue was entirely different than the sick-wit-it orange of, say, Auburn or Clemson but I think it was merely a semantic issue.

Not anymore. We can now accurately describe Bruce Pearl's suspenders.

Personally, I've got no beef with Tennessee--Bruce Pearl is another story--and I'd love to throw them some support here but they did lose to Alabama 41-17 last year.

Monday Miscellany

A few thoughts....

Will Nebraska be shopping come Saturday?

How confident are you that Tom will do the right thing come Saturday and end the Callahan era? (Poll at right.)

After the Kansas game there was no doubt. After the Kansas State game, and continuing through the off-week of course, there seems to be a sliver of doubt. In fact I've seen some commenters in various places supporting another year for Bill and The System based on (I guess) the fireworks against the Wildcats.

In all honesty, this amazes me. I don't know what else a person has to see to know that Bill is not capable of leading the program at Nebraska. (Or anywhere else, I would argue.) He's an offensive coordinator and a pretty good one.

Come next year I think that's what he'll be. I think but I've forced myself to at least consider the possibility of another year under Callahan.

It makes me want to weep.

Oh-no Coach O

Everyone seems to think that Coach Orgeron's job at Ole Miss is safe, but things just got even more difficult in Dixie. Twenty Rebels were placed on probation Sunday for stealing radios and pillows from a hotel.

Weird. I've never stayed in a hotel with a radio that I actually wanted to keep and while my pillows certainly aren't the best, they always tend to trump what you can find on the road.

Miles for Michigan?

Be sure to tune in to ESPN today at 10 a.m. Lloyd Carr will announce then what I guess he's already announced. He's hanging up his whistle.

Going to be an interesting few weeks for Les Miles as he tries to keep LSU at the top of the BCS heap while refuting rumors and inquiries about his future with the Wolverines.

Truth be told, if Michigan wants Miles that's fine by me. I'm still unconvinced he's capable of running a big time program, but he would make the Big 10 marginally more exciting. (And really, marginally exciting is about as good as it gets for me in that conference.)

Looking around

Two pieces of note today:

The first comes courtesy of CollegeFootballNews.com's Pete Fiutak, one of my favorites in the game. This is the first of a series taking a look at how some of the traditionally great programs of yesteryear can get back to being traditionally great. First up is Florida State but I can't wait to see his plan for Nebraska.

Second comes via The Wizard of Odds. This whole Franchione newsletter mess is bound to get ugly. Real ugly. According to the post (and accompanying Dallas Morning-News piece), A&M is launching an internal investigation to determine whether or not the Coach Fran Express Daily Herald Sun violated any NCAA rules.

They should probably begin their investigation in Las Vegas and see what the A&M lines have done over the past few years because if information like this wasn't used for gambling purposes then A&M has the most altruistic group of boosters in the country.

Is there anyway Franchione keeps his job past this season?

Yet more thoughts from a football Saturday...Nightcap edition

You see what happens when you leave me alone with a keyboard and televisions full of college football? I spew random bits of nonsense all day long...

--BASEBALL WARNING!! Now that the Cubs are in I'm going to get greedy. The nothing to play for Brewers beat San Diego today leaving the door ajar for Colorado. The Rockies lead the Dbacks 4-0.

--This Saturday could go down as one of the craziest uni-related days in history. It's almost like that 75th anniversary season for the NFL. LSU and Tulane had their Katrina specials today. NMSU is wearing pink right now which, while I haven't seen it, has to be better than the gold get-up Minnesota broke out for their massacre at the hands of Ohio State. And finally Washington is wearing navy throwbacks to great affect. They survived the 1st quarter against USC and remain deadlocked 0-0.

--Auburn looks fiery. Brandon Cox still makes me nervous as a one-night only Tiger fan, but it seems as if they've brought the mentality necessary to keep this one close.

--Can we close the Heisman book on Colt Brennan? He threw for 369 yards today but that's typically a first half performance for him and he tossed 5 INTs. Sorry Colt but Hawaii's doesn't have the marquee games necessary for a serious push.

--Blocked FG Auburn! No need to get conservative here. Take it at the young Gators through the air.

--I'm mildly interested in the Cincinnati and Arizona State games tonight but they're going to be on the back burner once the season debut of SNL kicks off. I'm quite interested to see what LeBron can do to follow up his ESPY performance.

--4th and 1 from the Florida four yard line. What do you do, Tommy? I say go for it. Sap the sound out of the Swamp a little bit.

--Tommy goes and Tommy gets it. Would Billy C. make that call?

--U-Dub strikes first. Husky Stadium seems a lot more raucous than Memorial Stadium was two weeks ago.

--War Eagle! 14-0.

--USC answers. 7-7. Why can't the Trojans play on the road?

--Turns out NMSU isn't tough enough to wear pink. Instead of pink jerseys the Aggies just came out in pink socks. I feel lied to.

--Check that. USC is fine. The TD they gave up was off a turnover and this one has all the makings of a slow start, fast finish.

--OR, USC will turn it over again and Washington will take an INT to the house. 14-14.

--Mark it. 4:10 left in the 3rd quarter. Auburn busts a 19-yard run but fumbles. Could be the break Florida needed.

--Somehow Washington is still hanging around.

--Kirk just flashed his Top 5 should Florida lose and it included Oregon. Bold move but I kind of like it.

--Florida, after much difficulty from the two, gets a huge TD. This game could be won or lost on this next Auburn drive. Tigers have to at least flip the field.

--Oh, and Quentin Groves had to have the shoe cut off his right foot and could barely make it off the field. Coming in to this game I just wanted Auburn to cover but now I'm really hoping to see the third top five team of the weekend go down.

--USC can't...stop...cheating. Thirteen penalties tonight on the Trojans have the Huskies hanging around.

--Florida has this thing tied up. Just a guess, but I don't think Auburn is scoring again.

--Thanks for missing an extra point Ohio State. The spread was 23.5, the final was 30-7. I appreciate that.

--U-Dub just flubbed a punt. Can't do that in upset games.

--Auburn's freshman kicker drills the game winner but Urban Meyer called a timeout at the last second so he had to do it again. And he did. If I were him I would've pointed straight at Coach Meyer.

--USC, with a 10-point lead, has that game under wraps and LeBron is wearing a completely velvet suit so I'm off for the night. Be real interesting to see where the polls go from here.

Further thoughts from a football Saturday...

--The Mississippi's are killing me! I took both of the Magnolia State's representatives with the points on the road and they're both going to lose it in the 4th quarter.

--Colorado looks spunky against Oklahoma. They're threatening to make this a one score game following a turnover.

--Iowa is awful.

--Nice to see Nebraska come out and exert their will to start the second half. This game should be in the neighborhood of 28-0.

--Unless things change in a hurry, the HPSWBT could take a beating this weekend.

--Check that. Richmond might have the best helmets on the East Coast. Think the Ole Miss helmets with a red spider instead of a wordmark. Classy.

--Good night ISU. 93-yard INT return by Bo Ruud for a TD. He doesn't pick it often. Only when he can take it to the house.

--Colorado misses a FG but then picks it on the next play. 24-17 in the 4th. Stay tuned.

--OU is mortal! They stop CU yet again but fumble the punt return. 1st and 10 CU at or near the 20.

--But the Buffs, as usual, can't stop cheating. Flags are killing Colorado.

--45-yard FG gives CU the win! K-State, after giving up the tying score, returns the ensuing kickoff for a touchdown. 21-15 K-State. Viva el Norte!

--24-14 KSU. Could OU and Texas both go down one week before the Red River Shootout?

--Nebraska hasn't quite salted this game away yet. The Blackshirts need to get off the field soon.

--Cal 3 Oregon 10. So much for a shootout. It would be nice if 2/3's of the country could see this game.

--Nebraska wins 35-17. That should quite things down a bit in the Cornhusker State, especially when you consider our offense was on the field for approximately four minutes the entire game. Given what else has happened today, regardless of whether or not K-State wins, this has been a good week for the Cornhuskers. The entire Big 12 has been blown wide open--and exposed nationally--which should give Nebraska a shade more confidence heading into Columbia next week.

--Clemson is killing me. They may be the only hope I have left in my pick'em group. How desperate has it gotten? I just loaded up on Auburn.

--What is the sound of one hand clapping? Probably a lot like Alabama-FSU looks.

--Granted I've been flipping around a lot but I haven't seen a single highlight from the Cal-Oregon game. How is that possible? Clemson-GT, my ABC game, just finished and I went directly to Rutgers-Maryland. Great.

--Is anyone any good this year? Oklahoma, West Virginia, Texas? All beaten this week. LSU snoozed through Tulane. Rutgers fell to Maryland. Wisconsin squeaked by Michigan State and, despite the fact that nobody likes them much, could end up in the top five before it's all said and done. Maybe Cal is legit. Winning at Oregon is no small feat. I know this, Florida and USC have a big chance to make statements tonight.

Thoughts from a football Saturday...

Due to travel and work, this will be the first fall Saturday I spend watching 11 hours of football. Nothing else is on the agenda aside from gluttony and the gridiron. It's a beautiful 70-degree day in Boston, the smoker will be fired up soon enough and the Cubs are in the playoffs. Can't get much better than that.

Well, maybe slightly better. To celebrate this day of personal worthlessness, I'll be dropping my thoughts from the day in college football here all day. Only problem is, without access to GamePlan or ESPN360, this morning could be pretty rough. Here's the morning slate for your average Comcast subscriber in the Boston metro area:

ND @ Purdue
LSU @ Tulane
Akron @ UConn
Yale @ Holy Cross
UNC @ VT
Southern Illinois @ Indiana St.
Oklahoma @ Colorado
Baylor @ Ag. & Mech.

Not a very promising group, but I will guarantee this: hiplainsdrifter.com will be your home for live updates of that Holy Cross game. You won't get that anywhere else. Let's go live...

--Tulane really got screwed in the commemorative jersey department. Whereas LSU got a total jersey redesign, complete with white pants and helmets, the Green Wave just got a pelican patch. Sad when you consider this helmet design is out there.

--Yale 3 Holy Cross 0. I'm going to say Yale has the best helmets on the East Coast.

--A&M-Baylor just described as a "heated rivalry." Perhaps this stems from something written in Coach Fran's super secret newsletter. Let's see, nobody thinks the coaches actually have time to even vote in their poll, now you're telling me Franchione "wrote" a newsletter each week? I'd love to mee the people who ponied up $1200 for that.

--Tulane has attempted approximately 14 reverse based plays in the first quarter. LSU simply sits back, grinning, and waits for someone to eventually end up with the ball and then slaps the Wave with a loss. It's fun for these guys.

--PSU 10 Ill. 14. This is bad news for the Nittanies. They can't score with Illinois. I'd go so far as to say that two more TDs for the Illini would probably do it.

--Akron 3 UConn 6. After seeing USF totally dominate WV last night, I think it's time to take a closer look at the Big East. Cincinnati is undefeated and ranked and UConn, also undefeated, is way better than they have any right to be considering how young their program is. The key question for the conference will be can they get these coaches to stick around? Even West Virginia isn't necessarily a destination job. Rodriguez nearly left for Alabama last year and that doesn't bode well for any of the second tier--but rising--schools.

--BAD back-to-back misfires out of Stephen McGee. First he overthrows a wide open receiver downfield for a surefire touchdown. Then, he overshoots his tight end for an INT that's returned to the 20. Of course, Baylor being Baylor, the Bears are called for two illegal blocks on one play. Well done!

--Yale 24 HC 3. Mike McLeod, that's Yale's RB, has 20 rushes for 168 yards. In the first half. Respect!

--Nothing brings me more joy than seeing the deuce on the scoreboard. I LOVE it when a team's first points are a safety. In fact, despite LSU's lethargic play, I wouldn't be surprised to see Tulane shutout the rest of the way, which would result in a 2-point final! There's nothing better.

--It's still early but, factoring in WVU's loss last night, I'm going to need some help with my picks today. Not looking good. Meanwhile, this Oklahoma game can't start soon enough. This early slate is pretty ho-hum. All the good action is simply Gamecast bar graphs for me.

--Speaking of the bar graphs, Ole Miss is up 7-0 at Georgia and driving. I felt coming in that last week's near miss against Florida might've represented the proverbial corner for Coach O. Now that I'm reading Meat Market I love the guy even more. Go Rebs!

--Thanks Tulane. There goes my dream score and it happened on a reverse (oops). 9-7 Wave. Should be a fun halftime talk for the Tigers. Also, Tulane head coach, Bob Toledo looks like he was lifted straight from the Ahtlon preview circa 1988 with his white sweater and huge-crowned hat. Well played.

--Turned the corner? After completing a long third down pass to the Georgia 1-yard line, a two TD lead seemingly inevitable, Ole Miss fumbles. This is how you lose football games.

--Seeing CU for the first time this season, I'm happy to see they've finally incorporated the silver from their official school colors into their new football uniforms. Now that's enough praise for Colorado this season.

--Going to break this thread off like a square out to "cover" the Nebraska game.

Whatever happened to Public Enemy?

The video is a few days old but it never really gets old. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2007 Texas Longhorns....



When did hip-hop become X-rated Simon Says? Just so we're on the same page here, you're seeing what is supposed to be one of the best teams in the country, on the sidelines prior to a game, dancing. N'Sync, no less. Such is the power of Souljah Boy. Check out the real video, it requires a prologue.

So many questions. At least that Heisman song was unabashedly appealing to stupid football fans but really, is there any difference between the two songs musically? Aren't they just the Macarena with better production? Where was Colt "Ain't had a Coke in 10 years" McCoy in all this?

A parting thought for the weekend: be wary of any song that necessitates instructions.

America's Team?

Only in college can the comedic styling of Will Ferrell and the chronic *cough* chicanery of Snoop Dogg represent the whole of American culture, but that's what makes that period of your life fun: it's wildly irrational and wholly uninformed.

So maybe I shouldn't blame U.S.C. linebacker Brian Cushing for his comments to the New York Post a few days ago. They were wildly irrational and wholly uninformed, but I'm here to help him with that.

Cushing had this to say in the story:

We're America's Team. The best players want to come here. The tradition is amazing. Everyone wants to play us. People love to be around the program. I mean, there are celebrities at every practice.

Like, totally. I understand how the sight of Nick Lachey can make you a little starstruck, but America's team? Could the high ratio of celebrities to grad assistants at Trojan practices perhaps be a product of their location? L.A. loves a winner and forgets everyone else. It's a town that runs on yesterday's news, eternally searching for the next big thing.

U.S.C. is that thing now--in L.A.--but there are a couple million college football fans everywhere else in the country who absolutely salivate at the thought of seeing U.S.C. lose. College football is the best sport in America because this notion of universal popularity doesn't exist. It's a regional sport played on a national stage. Fans are tied to their schools in a way that can't be achieved with a pro franchise. Every Saturday there's much more at stake than a simple win or loss, the pride of a specific people and place, a local ethos, is on the line.

And, I'm sorry, but L.A. will never do that as well as places like Athens and Norman and Morgantown, cities and towns we know because of college football.

U.S.C. can claim right now to be the best team in America and get only a small argument. One day away from the first games of the season, that's the consensus. But claiming the mythical title of Amerca's Team?

The rest of the country will have something to say about that. Adam Duritz and Larry the Cable Guy are celebrities too. I think.

CSI: Durham

Two things guaranteed to start a fight in any college town bar that's worth visiting:

1) Conference strength.

2) Schedule strength.

Most of the time the two are related but over the next four weeks the majority of the games we'll watch will be the dreaded and erratic non-conference games. Some are good match-ups, most are not but they will be used as argument fodder throughout October and November to determine everything from national title contenders to a coach's future to my personal worth (nice work this year, Nebraska).

But if there's so much riding on these games that really don't determine who eventually gets to the BCS bowls, shouldn't we look at which teams and conferences have done the best job scheduling out of conference from a fan's perspective in 2007? Yes, we should. That's why I created the Compelling Scheduling Index or CSI (oh, I get it...it's quite clever). I went through each BCS conference team and scored their schedule using the following criteria:

5 Pts. - Any Game vs. Top 20 Win% Last 15 Years (BCS only) - The best games are the big ones between big programs, Cal-Tenn., USC-Nebraska, VT-LSU, but games like this are scheduled years in advance. When USC-Nebraska agreed to a home and home Nebraska was USC and USC was Nebraska in terms of talent and ranking. Now it's the inverse. By using win percentage over the past 15 years I tried to account for that lead time. And sorry Toledo and Boise State, you qualified in terms of winning percentage but you're just not as compelling as Wisconsin or Penn State. BCS only.

4 Pts. - Any Game vs. Top 40 Win% Last 15 Years (BCS only) - The second tier. Keep in mind we're looking at successful programs over the last 15 years so there are some surprises here. While playing Alabama or West Virginia will always look impressive, based on their results over the past 15 years it's traditionally been less difficult than playing Kansas State or Oregon.

3 Pts. - Any BCS Team - Even seeing Northwestern play Duke is more intriguing than seeing Northwestern play Northeastern. At least Northwestern and Duke are working with similar resources. I do, however, like that symmetry in the Wildcats home opener.

2 Pts. - Rivalry Games - If you play a team every year you're not actively going out and scheduling them but a team should get credit for keeping that tradition alive. Therefore, Georgia Tech doesn't get a full five points for playing Georgia but they do get two for not dodging them in favor of a creampuff.

1 Pts. - Any non-BCS team on the road - If one of the Goliaths is willing to play a David on their home turf I'm interested.

-3 Pts. - Any 1-AA Opponent - I understand the reasoning behind these games, easy win, easy money for all involved, but fans hate these games. I can't reward big time programs for showering sacrificial lambs with money. Simply put, no making it rain on them foes in the CSI.

The Curious Case of Notre Dame - The Irish are still an Independent so I'm sure they won't mind being left out of my survey because their entire schedule is non-conference. For match-ups against USC, Michigan and Michigan State the game was scored as a rivalry game for those schools.

After totaling up each schools non-conference schedule, I divided that number by the number of non-conference games played to reach a CSI PPG score. This accounts for the fact that the Pac-10 only plays three such games while the Big East plays five.

The conference total was determined by adding the raw scores for each school and simply dividing by the number of teams in the conference.

With that out of the way, let's get to the results. You can see the entire spreadsheet here.

The Top Teams

0. Duke - You should know that Duke scored as high as any team in the country with games against UConn, Northwestern, at Navy and Notre Dame. However, no game involving Duke is compelling so now that you're aware, disregard this score. Cheers to the Blue Devils for scheduling up, however.

1. Washington - A classic case of the ambiguity we're working with here. Washington receives no points for playing Boise State, but they get four points for playing Syracuse. Fair? When they made the schedule it probably was. Throw in Ohio State and factor in the shortened Pac-10 non-conference schedule and you have your top team.

Tie 2. Miami and Florida State - They may not be what they once were, but these two will still play anyone anywhere. Between the two they'll play Oklahoma, Texas A&M, Colorado and Alabama. Congrats, but tell me again how Florida State is going to be resurgent this year?

4. Syracuse - Could be another long year for the Orange with games against Washington, Iowa, and Illinois. Yes, those teams are mostly down right now but Louisville and West Virginia aren't playing them.

5. USC - Nebraska and Notre Dame, simple as that. Pete Carroll has never dodged anyone.

Tie 6. Colorado & Wake Forest

8. Nebraska

9. Iowa

Of course the big question here is where's the SEC? LSU scored at the top of the conference with a CSI PPG of 1.5 based largely on their game against Virginia Tech. Outside of that, it's pretty slim pickings in the Southeastern.

The Conference Breakdown

Based on the top 10 teams above, you could've probably guessed that the ACC scored the highest of the BCS conferences. The totals are below:

1. ACC - 5.08

2. Pac-10 - 3.58

3. Big 12 - 3.16

4. Big East - 3.08

5. Big 10 - 2.00

6. Southeastern - 1.33

You might be skeptical of a system that ranks Duke as the team that scheduled the best this year and the SEC as the conference that did the worst but keep in mind we're not talking about schedule strength, rather trying to determine which teams went out and actually scheduled opponents with a pulse. Every team in the SEC except LSU will play a D-1AA opponent this season.

Are you interested in watching those games? Me neither. I'm also not that interested in seeing Duke play anyone but at least they're trying and that's the case CSI set out to solve.

Case closed?

Trendkilling - Area Codes

This is Mo Purify's new Mohawk. It's the haircut that's sweeping the nation in fall camps across the country, but that's not what interests me. Look a little closer at Purify's right arm and you'll notice that he has the requisite area code tattoo, 707 for Eureka, CA.

I'm not sure if this is a new addition or not. He may not have had it last season but I am sure he'll have it next season...and the season after that...and the season after that, etc. which is too bad because I'm officially declaring this whole area code trend dead.

Yes, for 2007 ZIP codes are the new area codes. As best I can tell, nobody is on board with this yet but they'll come. Once we get Darren McFadden on board the rest of college football should follow like Felix Jones on the speed option out of the Wildcat set.

Now, one of my ultimate pet peeves is people who are ashamed of where they're from and the Reggie Bush-led trend of using your area code to represent regional pride is basically the antithesis of that. The problem, however, is that when you get right down to it, area codes just aren't that specific.

For example, the entire state of Nebraska, all 77,358 square miles of it, has only two area codes. Back when Bush was shredding defenses and shoving quarterbacks over goal lines, I was quite fond of writing 308 in dry erase marker on my glasses each day before work. Problem was that all of my Boston co-workers, most of whom are intimately aware of western Nebraska geography, would frequently ask me if I was from Kearney.

I am not. I grew up over 300 miles away from Kearney. All we shared were those three little digits. Since I've adopted the ZIP Method all of those questions have gone away. Five digits, highly specific. Every town with a post office has their own special number and cities are meticulously divided as well. If you're an urban dweller you can't quite get to the exact street you live on but you can get a lot closer than you can with the officially passe area code.

And if five-digits aren't specific enough there's still hope. While the NCAA will likely argue over the +1 format for years to come, the USPS has been utilizing the +4 format since 1983 and if the Postal Service can be more more progressive than the sport's governing body, don't you think you can be a bit more visionary than your average blue-chipper?

5 Things You Should Never Wear to a College Football Game

No fancy intro here, lists were made to be listed so let's get to it...

5 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER WEAR TO A COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAME

1. A foam corn head: This category really applies to any foam rubber piece of headgear made using a mold (Wolverines, Hogs and Gators included), but I'm sad to admit that my own Cornhusker faithful are by far the most egregious offenders here. Now I love corn more than a starving pilgrim in the middle of his first New England winter and I take it in all its forms--on the cob, in the can, with milk and on the rocks--but I don't ever want it higher than my lips. A big ear of foam corn makes a piece of cheese look like haute couture.

2. Camouflage: I understand the appeal here. When you're out fighting the elements and engaging in the thrill of the hunt you want to let your prey know what hit it. There you are in the blind and a succulent duck, your duck, takes flight. Boom! The hound hauls it back and you and your hat scream "War Eagle baby!" That's great if you're carrying a rifle, but if you're heading to the game the school colors should be fine.

3. Overalls of any color: Clemson seems to be Public Enemy No. 1 when it comes to Crayola-colored coveralls. All that rubbing the rock is dirty business. But as garish as this orange is it may actually be better than these striped numbers which are available in just about every color combination you can imagine. But just because they're in your team's colors doesn't mean you should take advantage of that option. Some things you can't unsee and some things you can't unwear. These overalls are both.

4. A visor: Are you a Heisman Trophy winning, 5-time SEC Coach of the Year with six conference titles and one Sears Trophy? No? Then get that half-assed hat off your head.

It takes a lot of hard work to get to the point where you can simply answer the phone with, "Yeah, this head ball coach." No question of which ball coach, no need to even ask for him by name. There is only one.

If you've achieved that level of success in your chosen field, then you can consider the visor part of your wardrobe. If not, well, you're probably better off that way anyway.

5. Stadium Pants: Nothing says I'm an asshole like these pants and you'll only pay $135 to broadcast that very fact to everyone within shouting distance.

I suppose this is a natural progression, first you get some pants with lobsters all over them to prove you probably don't ever sail boats, and that's not so bad. Nobody laughs directly in your face. But then you wake up in a bush six hours after a game some Saturday and find Colonel Reb in places you never thought possible. It happens just that quick.

I'm not quite sure which would be the more potent combination, stadium pants with a visor or coveralls with the camouflage, but I do know that both of those outfits are worn by thousands every Saturday and that doesn't even include the foam heads.

Luckily--well not really luckily more like thanks in large part to me--you won't be one of those people.

Gratuities are welcome and appreciated.

Big 12 South continues to dominate

Over at the Fanhouse's NCAA Football room Pete Holiday has been counting down the Top 10 Dirtiest Programs in the Land and the "winner" might surprise you.

Texas Tech didn't really do any one thing wrong so much as they did everything wrong: coaches doing coursework, using academically ineligible players, "free bail bonding and legal services," and--my personal favorite--promising a prospective recruit ostrich-skin boots.

Ahh, the things that will seal the deal in West Texas. Perhaps the bigger problem for Red Raider fans is this: this particular study looked only at the past 20 years and in that time period Tech has never won more than 9 regular season games, never won a conference championship, never won much of anything.

If you're going to cheat shouldn't you be getting something for your money? Or maybe, they were just trying to keep their head's above water in a brutal Big 12 South. Literally brutal.

The SEC placed four teams on Holiday's list'o'ignominy, but so did the Big 12, including the impressive top-3 trifecta with Tech, OU and Ag. & Mech. Throw in Oklahoma State at #9 and you've got a South sweep. No wonder the Big 12 North is having trouble competing. Colorado couldn't even crack this list!

Guns up, indeed.

The Kid Likes to Leap Small Sophomores in a Single Bound

The video is of high school uber-back Sam McGuffie and, as impressive as it is, it's got nothing on his MySpace page.

Sam has announced, via this great internet forum and with the support of "Doe Boy", that he will be committing to a school this Sunday. Reading through the many comments left on the site was probably one of the worst things I've ever had to do, which, if course, means that it's entirely entertaining.

So head over there and witness first hand the looming danger of recruiting on the Internet 2.0. It could get scary folks. The fans think they can help and that notion is terrifying.

And, if you're a Michigan or Ag. & Mech. fan...well...what are you doing here? Get over there and help your head coach out! Just remember the kids don't like capitalization but they do love z's instead of s's.

So That's What Memorial Stadium is Worth?

Buried at the bottom of this article from the Las Vegas Sun Jeff Haney notes that, at the Golden Nugget, Nebraska is already a 12-point underdog to USC.

Now, trying to create accurate spreads during the summer is patently ridiculous. Aside from the fact that nobody has seen any of these teams play yet, who knows what sort of injuries and off-field controversies will be in play come the third week of the season. Key players could be maimed, imprisoned, indefinitely suspended, returning from indefinite suspensions, wearing warm-ups on the sidelines or simply playing like crap. All of those things will be taken into account in the week leading up to the game to arrive at a final number and, as the article shows, it will likely be much different come game time.

So why even bother? Because there are two types of people who like to bet college football in July: 1) your average Joe who won't be in Vegas during the season, and 2) your average professional sports bettor who hasn't left the sports book in 225 days.

I'd like to think I fall somewhere in the vast middle, and what this number initially said to me is that Memorial Stadium might not be worth as much as it once was from a point-spread perspective. But after a closer look, I'm not so convinced.


These super advance point-spreads have all the validity of preseason rankings and everyone hates those, but what factors could've possibly played in to this SC-NU line? Last year's spread ended somewhere around SC -18.5, so from the start we're a touchdown better than where we were, and the most immediate difference between 06 and 07 is the location so immediately it looks like Lincoln earns us 6-points right off the bat.

But you have to think that SC gets a couple of points in the quarterback department. Booty is back and Keller is essentially a wash at his point. Sam should be an upgrade over Keller, but there's also the rustiness/new system blues to contend with so I'll say he's +/- 0, and Booty probably warrants +/- 1.5 on his own.

Purify's status is probably another +/-0.5 alone, so in my mind that's 2-points back to USC. Maybe add in another 1-point for our green defensive line. Those seem like the most quantifiable elements two months out and, in reality, USC probably has an edge in almost every personnel match-up. That's why they're #1.

So, if we use last year's spread as the starting point, add in the advantages we can foresee this year, we have USC -21. The number is -12, so Memorial Stadium is worth more than a touchdown?

I guess it's possible. This isn't highly scientific stuff, but my question now is: do you take Nebraska at -12?

And, of course, what this question is really asking is: do you think the Cornhuskers will be less than a double-digit dog come September 15?

Morning Walk-thru - Young Eyes Upon Texas

Return of the Mack...Fresh off a top-five recruiting class, Texas coach Mack Brown has already filled 18 out of his 22 available scholarships for next year with some of the best juniors in the country. Apparently kids just show up in Austin these days and sign on the dotted line. (Having this can't hurt.)

Now, I'm an excellent video game recruiter year in and year out. I'm not great at pitching the whole "Academics" angle, but get me in the living room and I'll give you the top class every year.

That's basically what Mack Brown (and Pete Carroll) are doing right now, but I wonder if it's the best course of action. Football is a different beast than basketball. Kids start playing later and players develop a bit later. A kid can change a lot over the summer between his junior and senior years, including his mind.

All these guys are still going to take all their recruiting visits. They'll party all over the country and get the VIP treatment even though they're "going to Texas." Maybe they end up there, maybe they don't but college football is cyclical and freak numbers like these feel a bit like the dot-com boom or being a pro poker player about four years ago. Good times end, so enjoy them now.

Ten years ago USC was 6-5, Texas was 4-7 and Nebraska was being fitted for their third national championship ring. I think it's time we got back to that.

Meanwhile, right next door...Things continue to unravel at Arkansas. Arkansas Democrat Gazette reports that Mitch Mustain requested phone records for Houston Nutt and assorted staff members under the freedom of information act.

For his mom.

Some kids are better equipped to handle college than others. We all knew the guy in the dorm whose mother would bring him freshly laundered clothing each week.

Mustain is sort of like that, except his mother tries to get his coach fired.

Love to see this kid in a USC uniform in the near future.

Craps!...Is it too early to call Dice-K a bust? He's now lost twice as many games as he's won on American soil and last night he gave up three hits and two earned runs to the only team that accepts Canadian coins. Three hits! Dragonball-K only struck out a thrid of the 30 batters he faced. His ERA ballooned from 2.57 to 2.70! We've been played a fool.

As best I can tell, Matsuzaka isn't putting any ki on the ball, which is precisely why the Sox brought him over. If the Fenway faithful don't see at least one Genki Dama soon, I fear the only option left for Dice-K might be Jibaku, which would be a a pretty pricey set of fireworks.

Or, they'll just throw a slice at him...

Weekend Reader

Some fresh and not so fresh links to keep you entertained before the Final Four and after, during that long, lazy Sunday before Monday's title game...

--Yesterday I expressed excitement, and confusion, over the fact that Chuck Klosterman was blogging from the Final Four in Atlanta. Gawker.com (Deadspin's daddy) has a significantly more vitriolic take on Chuck's blog-bash in his initial post. While their post is interesting enough on it's own, the comments might be even better.

I wondered how bad the Chuck-lash currently was, but it seems as if he, to borrow from Malcolm Gladwell, reached his tipping point a few years ago. There were people in the comments claiming to hate him from the moment he started at SPIN, and others who cited Killing Yourself to Live as the last straw.

Now, Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs still sells remarkably well, so if I had to estimate said tipping point, it seems like somewhere between Cocoa Puffs and Killing Yourself so circa-2005. That seems fitting. This was also the year Maria Carey was "Emancipated" to the delight of 10 million music fans.

--So Oprah has officially endorsed Cormac McCarthy's The Road as her latest book club pick and, despite protestations to the contrary in today's Boston Globe, it still seems like a dark, edgy pick to me. Maybe I'm wrong, but I would guess that the majority of Oprah's disciples hadn't read McCarthy's post-apocalyptic opus. Stories about cannibalism and a father-son struggle to survive in a world gone dark aren't exactly mom approved, so I'm sticking to my guns.

I have yet to read the book, but it's on my queue now. (Does this make me a disciple?) In the meantime, Oprah's omnipresent reach has resulted in a media blitz for all things McCarthy which is good news for us. The New York Times has made available one of the few interviews with the reclusive author and you can find it here.

Now that that's out of the way, I should probably provide some sportswriting since that's sort of what I typically do around here.

--The Tim Tebow Bill? In Alabama? After you get done reading that (and stop ogling the accompanying photo), the college big-rig race that I mentioned a few days ago is still getting submissions. Browse around on The Wizard of Odds to see the latest entries. (Congrats to the site for starting a legitimate Internet phenomenon with that initial post.)

--The great thing about baseball previews is that there are so many of them. Don't like the placement of your favorite team, no worries, just find another one. After seeing far too many realistic evaluations that had the Cubs as low as fourth in the NL Central, I was delighted to find that One More Dying Quail has the Cubbies in the World Series against the Sawx.

I'm not so certain that could happen, but I like to dream. It feels like 2003 all over again. (Side note: How hard is the NL Central to handicap this year? A number of previews I've seen have the Brewers taking the pennant. Now, I like the Brewers team and honestly I'd be delighted if they did, but I'm not sold yet.)

--Don't forget that we have the first major Derby prep race of the year on Saturday, the Grade 1 Florida Derby. Problem is, you might have trouble finding it. No national coverage. Luckily, Left at the Gate has you covered.